


That Which You Know

by HadenXCharm



Series: Last Summer [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Canon Universe, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, POV Aomine Daiki, Personal Growth, Sequel, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:47:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24373765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HadenXCharm/pseuds/HadenXCharm
Summary: Our last summer together, the two of us, just starting out—Fireworks. It feels like fireworks.
Relationships: Aomine Daiki/Kagami Taiga
Series: Last Summer [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1407970
Comments: 27
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay yes, it's been like a year, I don't expect anyone to still care about this, plus it's kind of a rehash of the kagami sequel, so it might be boring.
> 
> Shinsun motivated me to just fucking finish this bc they finally read this fic series and really loved it so a big thank you to him for giving me the push I needed. That being said, it's been like a year since the main story and I didn't go back and read it to refresh all the details in my head, so there might be some continuity errors. I just banged this out so it probably seems jarring in comparison to the other fics. Just wanted to complete it and move on tbh. Please enjoy, thanks for sticking with me this far!

If you’d told Aomine a year ago all the things that would go down over the course of this summer, he would’ve told you to go pound sand. From Kagami getting a boyfriend, falling in love with Kagami, the ensuing downfall of Kagami’s relationship and getting together with Kagami himself, all of it—

Even looking back, it all still seems so unbelievable. It’s been a few days now but it’s taking a while to set in. So much had happened and it feels like one day to the next he’s gone from being heartbroken and lonely, watching from a distance, and then all of a sudden he’s woken up with a boyfriend, the one of his dreams—

He’s indescribably happy. They’d gotten together a couple days back and Aomine’s on such an incredible high. Kagami. _Kagami_ loves him. Kagami wants to be with him. 

This feeling like his heart’s a balloon, overinflated to the point that he’ll float right off the ground. He’s absolutely sick with love.

Not much is different right away. They don’t do much of anything that couples do. They’ve only ever held hands the once, when they confessed to each other. They’re taking it slow, which is both a blessing and a curse, because sometimes Aomine feels so excited and hyped up that he just wants to grab Kagami and shake him, scream in his face, _you are so awesome, fuck, you’re great, thank you for being born, thank you for loving me—_ and others, he feels very hesitant, doesn’t know how to bridge the gap that crosses the stream, friends becoming boyfriends.

Sometimes he wonders if Kagami feels the same struggle. Has the same worries. If he feels awkward trying to express his romantic feelings to a boy he’s used to playing rough with. Does he worry he can’t meet the challenge as their relationship changes.

But the way Kagami looks at him. It’s… god, it’s beautiful. It feels like heaven. He looks at Aomine like he’s all he’s ever wanted. Like he’s actually worthy of that much love. His heart beats like a dribbling basketball, swooping and striking the pavement when Kagami grins at him with those bright eyes. This fluttering pure thing positively thrives within him.

After about a week of excited butterflies and stupid shy smiles and glances, Aomine figures it’s time he starts making good on his promise and try being a boyfriend.

Aomine spends his Friday on his phone thinking out a date for them. Their first date— it should be special. Not just any basketball weekend meetup, even though that’s all it takes to keep the both of them happy. He thinks it should be something they don’t normally do. To show Kagami he really means it.

Also, not that he’s about to get in the habit of comparing himself to _douchebag ex-boyfriend_ just to one-up him and make sure he’s doing better than he did, but Aomine remembers that Kagami said that Shitoshi was into trying new things and that he’d liked that about him— so maybe Aomine should do that too.

And besides. Kagami’s said that it’s not just basketball for him. That even without basketball, he’d still like Aomine the same. Aomine dares not believe it could be true. Part of him still thinks it can’t possibly be, but it’s as if a world of possibilities has opened up, and his mind runs wild with all the places he can take Kagami, his favorite things to do that they can do together— stuff he hadn’t bothered doing in a long time because he’d been too depressed.

Mountain-climbing, fishing, swimming, bug-catching, shoe-shopping, theme parks— and what does Kagami like? Where can he take Kagami to surprise him? American cinema? Try a new food stand together—? Fuck, Aomine hardly knows what to settle on first. It all sounds fun, as long as it’s with Kagami.

Maybe that’s what Kagami means, about it not just being about basketball. As long as it’s with him.

He eventually invites Kagami to come to the arcade, not wanting to overcomplicate things, and in the end, he loses his nerve to go too romantic— _his other option had been a parfait cafe, but he’d chickened out._ Not just yet, that’s for further down the line, if all goes well— Maybe Valentine’s...

The arcade is a safer lead-in to their new relationship. He’s got allowance money from Mom today and he’s all set. He’d told her he wanted to treat a friend so she gave him a little extra and told him that bringing them for dinner is okay, just call first so she can have the house clean and ready. That’s another thought that hasn’t occurred to him before but feels monumental— he could show Kagami to his parents. 

Part of him actually wants to.

… Not yet. When the time comes.

When he and Kagami meet for basketball, he spits it out when they stop for a water break. Fuck, why does he feel so nervous. They’re already… _dating,_ so this feeling should settle down soon, right?

Besides, it shouldn't be any different than all the times he’s asked Kagami to hang. He’s just using a different word now. _Boyfriend_ words.

“So, do you want to, uh… Can I take you on a date?” Kagami looks up, and Aomine squirms, twisting the cap of his water back and forth. He’d tried to sound smooth and confident but fuck that now.  
  
“What, really?”   
  
He grunts and scuffs his foot. “Yeah, so?” Feeling hopeful, he looks up but Kagami just keeps goggling at him like he’s a weirdo.  
  
“Really, a date?” Aomine huffs. He’s not used to feeling so shy around Kagami. He’s afraid to be vulnerable. He’s afraid to show his belly to someone who would always take that opportunity to tease him back when they were just rivals. He doesn’t want to be teased about this. He wonders if Kagami feels the same way.

“Yeah sure,” Kagami agrees, and Aomine peeks at him, just with one eye at first. He looks so surprised and pleased that he’s been asked that Aomine perks right up. It worked!

“Taito Arcade and some lunch?” he bursts, trying not to sound too over-enthusiastic, but it’s no use. Kagami lights up.   
  
“Hell yeah.”

“What day’s good for you.”

“Tomorrow’s good.” _Fuck— perfect._ Aomine beams.

“I’m gonna’ win you a prize,” he says with a smirk, just to make extra sure Kagami knows it’s a _date._ Kagami huffs, immediately looking annoyed, which just makes him smirk wider.

“Like hell, Aomine.” He rolls his eyes. Aomine glares, and then gets in his face.

“What, you don’t think I can?”

“No, I’m winning _you_ a prize, asshole!” Kagami shouts back, jabbing him in the chest, but his scowl becomes a smile he tries to fight back. Aomine grins and pesters him gleefully.

“What?!”

“I know you win prizes for Momoi all the time, so—!”

“What’s that got to do with it!”

“I’m the boyfriend, not you!”

“What?!” Aomine blurts indignantly. Kagami seems to think it’s funny that he’d flustered him. _“I’m_ the boyfriend!” he insists.

“We both are so I get to win you a prize too—!”

“Well mine’s gonna’ be better!”

“Fuck you, we’re settling this now! First to three is the boyfriend!”

“Get ready to eat those words, Kagami!”

They bicker the rest of the afternoon, and that night Aomine knows what Kagami means about being restless before a game because he’s too excited to sleep. He hasn’t been so excited about anything in a long, long time.

They go on the date and have a lot of fun. It comes as something of a relief. He wonders if Kagami had been nervous too on his way here, but he has such a good time playing car racing games and hoop shooting games with him that afterwards when his money’s all spent, he doesn’t want to be finished. This was so much easier than he’d thought it would be and he doesn’t want to stop.

He feels like sleeping over for the weekend like usual, but felt a little awkward about asking. Maybe it’s different now, to have your boyfriend sleep over— but Kagami seems not to think twice about it.

When they wander back through the city, Aomine starts to feel a little tense as he leads them to his neighborhood and up to his house. Kagami’s never been to his house before. He should have Kagami wait out here...

Finally, he has to say, “Uh… you wanna’... uh… come up?”

Kagami blinks and seems to realize where they are. Then wonders stupidly, “Can I?” Shakes his head. “Does your mom know I’m coming?”

“She said it’s fine,” he brushes off, teeth bit together. She did say that.

Kagami forgets a lot of the phrases used when entering a person’s home, but he’s so earnest about it that he’s still polite enough to pass. Besides, his parents aren’t home. In the end Aomine had been too much of a chicken to bring Kagami when they’d be home, but another time—

Aomine takes him through the house and Kagami trails behind, looking out of place. His heart is pounding. It feels like they're doing something they shouldn't be doing. He feels scared to be caught like this for some reason. Kagami seems to sense the mood too, keeping quiet as he follows.

Kagami hangs back when Aomine walks to his bedroom, lingering in the doorway looking a little flustered. Aomine’s face bursts into flames. “Shut up, just come in!” he yelps, and Kagami jumps, racing in.

Kagami’s never come over before. He hasn’t seen Aomine’s room. Aomine takes him to the closet and shows him his shoe collection, beaming proudly when Kagami lights up, eyes sparkling. “Whoaaaa, are those—?!”

He protectively hovers for a while as he lets Kagami take some out of the boxes to hold them, but he eventually strays to gather some stuff to sleep over with, checking frequently and making sure Kagami put them all back in order.

“Did you give them names too?” Kagami teases, and Aomine opens his mouth to snipe back, but Kagami snickers, “So cute.”

Fuck.

“Pick two sets and we can play in them tonight,” he blurts.

“Whoa! You sure?”

“... Yes,” he squeaks out, already regretting it. Kagami starts laughing, and Aomine finds it’s not so hard suddenly, once he’s let them go, realizing he wants to see Kagami play in them more than he wants to keep them perfect and unused. After that first moment, it’s not so hard at all...

They stay at Kagami’s house for the night and play basketball till they’re hungry for dinner. He tries to look cool, grins and flirts and shows off for him. Wearing new shoes does feel pretty great— they’re just his size. Being with Kagami has always felt like that.

They play on the street court till after midnight. When he sleeps over, Kagami crashes on the couch to be out in the living room with him. His arm hangs off the couch— Aomine holds onto his finger. Something so small, something Kagami probably didn't even think much about. It means more than Aomine can ever explain.  
  


Aomine gets a call that weekend that takes him right back to summer fireworks and almost kissing Kagami under the night sky. He ends up at Kagami’s house again spending the night, falling asleep to the buzz of the water filter.  
  


Kagami kept the goldfish.


	2. Chapter 2

As Aomine grows bolder, more comfortable with his shiny fresh-out-of-the-box _boyfriend_ status, he and Kagami are slowly starting to do more ‘couple’ things. Not physical, exactly. He can’t describe it, but it feels like they’re getting closer every day.

Sometimes he feels like he can’t contain it inside him. Sometimes he looks at Kagami and just wants so badly to reach out to him, but he remembers how Kagami had seemed hesitant to do any public affection with he-who-must-not-be-named. Not that Aomine was brave enough for that anyways, even though Kagami had seemed fine with holding Hitoshi’s hand in public and would probably allow the same with him.

When they’re in his home, Aomine thinks of holding Kagami’s hand, but doesn’t know how to raise the subject. Feels awkward about doing it for no reason and feels he has to explain himself. He wonders if he came looking for one, if Kagami would hug him— but for now he’s content with the state of things, playing basketball and bumping together, sitting on the couch real close with their legs touching. And when he sleeps over, he scoots over on the floor and places his head next to Kagami’s leg, pleased when Kagami puts his hand on his hair and scratches gently.

He couldn’t have imagined Kagami being nice to him before experiencing it for himself. They haven’t stopped bickering really, and it’s not that Kagami’s sappy all the time. Not that much is different day to day, but Kagami’s a really good boyfriend. Texts him and makes him smile, makes time for him, plays basketball and feeds him dinner. Treats him special. He spoils Aomine— he wonders if Kagami even realizes.

One of the best things is when he cooks Aomine special snacks. It makes Kagami’s teammates so jealous. Aomine feels so smug and so lucky.

Kagami hasn’t mentioned telling everybody yet. Aomine really really doesn’t want to. It’s something that plugs up the tubes in his head because he doesn’t see what he’s supposed to do. He can’t bring himself to tell anyone, feels a wrench of dread when he thinks of others knowing, but denying Kagami that and asking him to stay secret for his sake is an equally unacceptable choice.

Aomine’s not sure how brave he can be. He doesn’t think he can get much braver than confessing his love and laying his heart out for Kagami that day. If he can do that, he can surely do this… Surely.

He told himself that he’d be the best thing that ever happened to Kagami, that he would strive every day to deserve the love Kagami’s giving him, and he has to push himself further than he ever thought he could go. He has to try, even if it’s hard. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, and he chose this because Kagami’s worth it to him. Even if he’s scared and fears the consequences.

He’s not sure how brave he’s willing to get yet, but he’s dipped his toes in, because Kagami hasn’t raised the subject once but he seems to crave some sort of reassurance that Aomine’s not ashamed of him. Not going to change his mind and back out. Some sign that Aomine would be willing to go that far, if he asked him to.

And while Aomine might be very uneasy and is very reluctant to make their relationship known, he’s not ashamed of Kagami. If anything, he’s ashamed of himself. Not Kagami. And he wants him to know that.

He starts by getting used to holding hands more often, and then decides to do it in front of a couple of people they know. Little steps, really really little ones that make him feel absolutely pathetic. This is so hard...

He hopes Kagami knows he’s trying. He hopes that he knows how much he loves him.

He hopes these efforts aren’t all for naught because the fear center in his brain is pinging at a near constant rate and some wild part of him is nervously expecting immediate accusations, and is steeling himself against it, _oh my god, you’re gay, I’m going to tell everyone, I’m going to tell your_ parents—

  
He thinks Tetsu sees them holding hands under the table at Maji’s and he’s pretty sure Kise’s caught them flirting. 

  
The most obvious they’ve been is when Kagami’s team shows up early at the gym and come up on them holding hands outside of the locker room. His throat feels thick and his heart jumps. Kagami seems flustered too… Fuck, he doesn’t know what to do. 

Aomine’s hand twitches, and he can’t stop himself. He uncertainly takes it out of Kagami’s grip before they can see— fuck.

But Kagami… he seems disappointed, shoulders drooping minutely, so Aomine gulps and quickly makes like he was only wiping his palm on his leg, then tentatively takes his hand again.

Kagami gets really red and awkward, stammering as his team comes up to greet him with raised eyebrows. Fuck, what does he want! Was that the right move? Is Kagami embarrassed now? Should he have let go?

Aomine looks away determinedly, because no one said he had to look at a single one of these people, so he just scowls and grips Kagami’s hand. It’s gotten hot and sweaty against his own, but Kagami hasn’t let go, so Aomine doesn’t either. He won’t be the first to let go again. If this is some game of gay chicken, if this is how he has to prove himself to Kagami then he’s not going to flinch yet—

Seirin doesn’t say anything, not a soul says a single goddamn thing about it, but he can feel them looking and _noticing_ and he still doesn’t like how it feels when people look at them together. It’s like his feelings for Kagami, his heart, it’s all slung out there for people to curiously pick apart, and at worst, judge and mock. He prefers to keep it inside, where he doesn’t have to think about it as much. Where he doesn't have to come up with reasons to defend and justify it...

That’s something that’s still hanging around. He still has a lot of issues to work through, and getting together with Kagami hadn’t solved them. The _being-gay-now_ part is especially difficult. He didn’t want people to know about them dating because it felt like that meant he was committing to being gay and to everyone knowing he’s gay. Of course he didn't want to keep _Kagami_ a secret, and it’s obviously worth more to have him be happy and to not feel that Aomine’s ashamed of him— but he’s still very hesitant and doesn’t want to tell people. He doesn’t want people to think of him as a gay person.

But of course, the people who see them day to day, they _know._

It isn’t long before his own teammates find out too. News travels fast, apparently. Satsuki had probably opened her big mouth about him, unable to keep it contained any longer.

They’d kept it to low murmurs all day through practice, even though he’s training much harder than usual— he wants to beat Kagami’s team this year— but when they’re done and it’s time to go home, he must look a little too eager to get somewhere, because the dam breaks. 

Wakamatsu gives him hell, as expected. 

“So you’re gay now?” he raises the question in the locker room, and everyone freezes. 

Aomine sputters, a dead giveaway, then shouts emphatically, “No!”

“You’re dating a guy, aren’t you? What do you call that?” Aomine doesn’t have an answer, and it pricks at the still-sensitive part of him that wrestles with those questions daily. “All those Mai-chan books were overcompensation, huh? When you’d rather be chugging Kagami’s dick—”

That causes a clamor. A couple of them yell at Wakamatsu to shut up at the same time Aomine leaps up and gets in his face, and they switch to yelling at him to cool it.

 _“I’m... not... gay,”_ he grits out murderously.

“Weren’t you calling Kagami a homo, like, a couple months ago? Look who’s homo now.” Wakamatsu leers, showing his teeth, eyes glinting with smug satisfaction. Honestly, Aomine would probably be doing the same if their roles were reversed, but he’s not in the mood to be fair.

“I’m not a _homo—”_ he barks, and grabs his collar. Wakamatsu smirks and puts his hands up. The most infuriating part is he doesn’t look the slightest bit intimidated and usually he would at least be wary of being punched. It’s already happening. He isn’t taking him seriously anymore.

“Hey, nothing wrong with it. Just saying, you have to admit it’s kinda’ funny.”

“I don’t have to admit anything!” he shouts, and throws Wakamatsu around a little, and they tussle around the locker room. Satsuki screeches and Sakurai cries and frets, but Wakamatsu’s laughing as Aomine wrangles him, which makes him even more aggravated. “Shut up! It’s not funny!” 

“It’s pretty funny— Ow!”

They roughhouse until the coach comes in and breaks it up and then they all scold him for beating up the captain.

“Hey, beating who up! I was winning!” Wakamatsu insists.

Resentful, Aomine snaps, “Shouldn’t you be moving into your dorm! You’re not captain anymore, so get out of here! I’ll be glad to see the back of you!”

“Back at you, you brat, I’m sicka’ your face!”

He doesn’t care if it was good natured or not. He doesn’t care if he was teasing or if he actually meant it or not.

He’s not a homo. He doesn’t want to be.

  
  
_If he is, if he absolutely has to be, it might be worth it._

_If he got to be with Kagami, if this is what he has to do, then he thinks he’d do it. Being with Kagami isn’t nasty or scary, no matter how daunting and horrible it feels to be seen and known as gay._

  
. . .  
  
  
  


Their first kiss happens on the basketball court on Kagami’s birthday in the blaze of summer. His heart is fluttering with nerves and excitement. He’s been worrying all night. He’d had everything planned. Fuck, what if it’s bad? What if he doesn’t like it? What if _Kagami_ doesn’t like it? Aomine’s never kissed anyone before. 

They play basketball and eat the pastry he’d picked out. Kagami likes the presents he’d brought. He’s so perfect like that, smiling like the sun could beam out of his face. 

“Hey, I’ve got one more gift for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Kagami looks up, bright-eyed. He looks like Aomine’s made him so happy. Like he’s made his birthday the best. 

Aomine swallows. Fuck, he can’t do this.

“Yeah. Close your eyes and hold out your hands.” Kagami does after a bit of arguing, and Aomine realizes, fuck, he _really_ can’t do this.

This is it. He’s been waiting for this. He’s gonna’ go for it. There won’t be a more perfect opportunity. Kagami’s waiting there in the shade with his eyes closed, sun dappling his face through the leaves above, looking so gorgeous and oddly soft that Aomine feels his stomach twist anxiously.

Every time he’s gotten caught up in the moment and almost done it before he’d even realized, he’s ended up kicking himself for being a fool. Every time he’s looked at Kagami with longing — _not mine, never mine, you should stop—_ and he hesitates. Every time he’s leaned in it’s gone wrong.

And today he’s gotten swept up looking at Kagami again, but this time it’s different. This time Kagami is his and he’s Kagami’s and it’s finally the _right_ time, but here he finds himself wondering— _can he really do this? Can he actually..._

“...Aomine?” 

“Yeah, in a sec,” he says hurriedly, fuck, his voice just cracked. Kagami has to know what he’s about to do. He has to know he’s acting weird. Sitting here like a chump while Kagami's knowingly waiting is only making this more embarrassing. Aomine shuffles a bit closer and leans in, holding his breath. He’s so close to him that he can see Kagami’s individual eyelashes. His lips look soft up close, parted ever so slightly.

_Fuck—_

Okay. Do it. Just _do it,_ you little bitch. What are you scared of? That you’ll _like_ it or something? He’s waiting!

After a pause, readying himself, he bites his tongue and leans in, going in hard so that he won’t chicken out— _he just needs to go for it and get over the finish line—_ but Kagami jumps and whacks his hard forehead right into Aomine’s.

“Owch!” he yelps out, hands flying to his face.

“Fuck, son of a bitch,” Kagami hisses, pulling back, and then glares at Aomine, who feels an immediate rush of humiliation well up within him. He flushes and looks away petulantly, refusing to say anything. 

He’d tried! And then crashed and burned. Of course… Is he destined to fail at this or something? Fuck, he just couldn’t do it with Kagami waiting all expectantly!

“What the hell were you doing?!”

“Nothing,” he mumbles, pride wounded. It’s too late now. The moment’s passed. He definitely can’t do it now. Embarrassed, he pretends like they both don’t know what he just tried to do, and lets Kagami laugh it off. He should feel grateful that Kagami’s not pointing it out, but instead he feels disappointed… 

There's probably a reason they haven't kissed yet. It should've happened naturally by now already. Trying to plan it out and build it up was a stupid idea anyway...

Kagami nervously shifts next to him, catching his eye. He sort of scoots towards him a little, and Aomine almost thinks he’s mistaken, but now Kagami’s definitely getting into his personal space.

He tenses up and inhales sharply— _oh._

God, he’s so close. Aomine glances down at Kagami’s mouth for just an instant and swallows hard. Fuck, Kagami’s licked his lips, they’re shiny.

He scrunches his eyes closed and purses his lips out to meet Kagami’s when he kisses him. They meet in the middle, both moving in and then finally touching. He’s probably like a cold fish to kiss, or a wooden plank. His shoulders are up around his ears, and his heart is beating hard in his throat, stomach sick and fluttery. 

His mouth makes a weird squeaking noise as he lets his lips release, but Kagami just leans in more, lips molding against his. Their faces slot together in a way he hadn’t expected them to. He’s never kissed before. He wonders if Kagami can tell. He hopes he can’t.

His mind, racing a hundred miles an hour, starts to slow down. Kagami isn’t invasive, he’s careful and tentative, his lips creating a gentle little suction on his as he kisses him, and after a quiet moment of resting together like that, Aomine lets his breath out in a rush.

Kagami’s mouth is warm. The tips of their noses are touching. They’re so close together he feels like there’s only one thing existing in the world right now, and it’s Kagami kissing him. It’s… it’s so… It’s not like he expected. He doesn’t know what he expected. This is his first time.

When Kagami pulls back, Aomine opens his eyes slowly. Not so bad. Not bad at all, in fact.

Kagami’s lip curls, and Aomine realizes he’s staring at him with a knowing smile. He startles a little and puts his hand over his mouth, feeling his lips. They don’t… _feel_ gay. Aomine gives Kagami a suspicious look and lets his shoulders lower when he comes scooting up again, thinking he’s being so sneaky about it.

The second time, he tries kissing back and yeah— he definitely likes it.

He likes it a lot. Gay lips or no.


	3. Chapter 3

One of the first things they did together as boyfriends was celebrate their eighteenth birthdays in August. 

Time flew after that once school started again. The Interhigh. The Winter Cup. It felt so strange to go into it this time with a sense of hope and excitement. It’s crazy how much a person can change in a year. He feels brand new.

Kagami beats him again. Just barely.

When Aomine sees him score the winning dunk it feels like time freezes. He’s running at breakneck speed to block Kagami from the net but when Kagami leaps, he soars. Kagami blasting out of a pool, suspended in the air with a thousand glittering jewels. Hanging there as he jumps from the freethrow line, drops of sweat scattering around his wet head, the intense lights blazing down onto the court shining through them like crystals. Aomine’s fingertips brush the bottom of the ball, just a moment too late.

The buzzer sounds and Kagami’s feet hit the court and he almost slams into Aomine coming down. They stare into each other’s eyes, panting and heaving and Aomine gets to watch Kagami’s face as he realizes that he’s won.

Aomine doesn’t even lose his temper when Satsuki suggests later that he let Kagami have it. 

He didn’t. Maybe that’s why he feels so elated himself through the sting of his loss.  
  


He never used to get that saying that time flies. In fact, he would’ve told you the opposite.

Bored, meaningless days take forever to pass, but if he looks back on the worst of his depressive episodes, if he thinks to when he started to hate basketball, he can admit that he can’t pick out any individual day from another. Nothing interesting to make them stand out. Months and months of boredly spinning a basketball on his finger, laying on his bed, feeling hopeless and discouraged. It’s as if he’s wasted a piece of his life with nothing to show for it, skipped over that section meaninglessly.

No one to play with. No one out there to match him. Not in the entire world.

But the summer he and Kagami had spent together felt like it was over in a colorful flash. It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t fair that when he’s enjoying himself the most, it slipped out of his hands so soon.

He thought he’d spend his life trying to recapture a piece of that. That they’d just be glory days he could only remember and not revisit. He thought he’d always just have to wish he could go back.

Watching Kagami from afar, all he’d ever wanted, what he’d once had to himself, Aomine had sworn to himself in those dark times that if it were him, if he got another chance someday— If he ever had Kagami, he’d never take a day of that for granted. He’d make it last. 

He shouldn’t have blinked his eyes.

He’d closed them for an instant and summer was gone. The autumn leaves fall off and he blinks again and it’s Christmas at Kagami’s apartment, a tiny string of lights on his balcony. Kagami begs him to go play in the snow— Aomine goes out with him even though he hates the cold, but only because Kagami promises him a bath, hot chocolates, and a christmas cake. 

Kagami glows in the snow. Hair, cheeks, nose. Just like Rudolph.

When they get back in, soaked and damp from a snowball fight, Kagami sheepishly tells him he can go in the tub first, teeth chattering. Aomine forgot he was cold at all, face so numb that he didn’t feel it at all anymore. 

Or maybe his cheeks are numb from too much laughing.

They take baths and drink some hot soup, then watch some TV in some thermals and lay together under a blanket too short for their legs. Aomine’s forgotten about the cake by the time it’s done, taking a nap on the floor, but when he wakes up, Kagami’s set it on the kotatsu and picked the blanket up to get back under with him.

It’s beautifully frosted and stacked with a crown of strawberry slices and melts like butter in his mouth. They fall asleep watching the snow fall on the balcony from Kagami's living room. He wants to stay like this forever.

Then it’s Valentine’s day. He buys Kagami some candy even though it’s the day for girls to confess. Kagami doesn’t tease him even though he took the train to Kagami’s stop to wait for him after school while he cleaned the classrooms.

Aomine will wait even if it takes Kagami all night to sweep and dust. He’s saved up his allowance and even kept his New Year's packets so he could take Kagami on a nice date on Valentine’s. He’d gone back and forth on this probably three or four times but fuck it, the worst Kagami can do is laugh and tease him for being a cheeseball. At least he’ll know Aomine cares.

“Oh hey, you didn’t have to wait,” Kagami greets him. The cute way he quirks his brows when he’s surprised and pleased _— like he realized he has an extra burger in the bottom of the bag or something—_ it gives Aomine the balls to go through with his plan even though this is way too cliche.

“You wanna’ go out tonight, Kagami?” Hands in his pockets, he scuffs his foot. Kagami looks up from his gym bag.

“Oh, I thought we’d just have dinner at my house,” he says cluelessly, eyebrows perking some more, fuck, so cute... “I have something to give you too, let’s go.”

Tempting as that is, Aomine digs in his heels. He gets tugged a step by the sleeve, but manages to stop them. He rubs his neck, making Kagami wait. “You sure you don’t wanna’ go out? It’s Valentine’s day, so let’s do something different.”

“We should’ve planned something beforehand. Everywhere’s gonna’ be packed anyway, we’ll never find a place. Let’s just go back,” Kagami says.

“I did plan something.”

“C’mon, I have to start on dinner soon if it’s gonna’ be ready.”

“Do you want to go out though?”

“It would’ve been nice if we had planned ahead. We can try again on White Day if you really want to. C’mon, seriously, I need to defrost the meat.” Aomine lets himself get tugged this time, reluctantly following at his side.

“Will you wait for two seconds and stop hurrying? I did plan ahead,” Aomine mutters. Kagami clearly hadn’t expected anything at all, and had been surprised enough with the little package of chocolate Aomine gave him earlier. He’d probably be happy just making dinner for Aomine and having a sleepover, but Aomine really wanted to make today special. 

He put a lot of effort into this, so he thinks he’s right to be stubborn. “I wanna’ go on a real date today…”

Kagami gives him a look then. “I already said we can’t, dummy, it’s gonna’ be too crowded, everything’s booked up…” He seems to feel bad then, reading the discouragement in his face, because he pats a hand on his head and says, “Let’s plan ahead next time and we can go.”

Aomine smacks his hand off and insists, “We can go now, idiot, I already said I _did_ plan ahead! You don’t listen! You’re too busy thinking about your stupid frosty meat!”

“No, you didn’t. When. You couldn’t have,” Kagami says skeptically, eyes narrowed as if to try and spot his bullshit.

“Who says?! I did plan one! You wanna’ go or not?!”

Kagami really looks confused now. “What? Wait, did you actually plan something?”

“Isn’t that what I said,” Aomine groans in exasperation.

“I didn’t think that’s what you meant! And you didn’t tell me about it till now so how was I supposed to know, dummy-mine!”

“Shit, Kagami, why would I tell you before now, I’m _surprising_ you! Do you get it now?!” Aomine yells. He lets out a short huff and kicks a weed as they move down the sidewalk. “Anyway, I got a table, so let's go soon so we make it in time. When we get back to your place, dress up nice, okay—?”

Kagami’s silent in thought for a few moments as they walk. Then his eyes narrow to slits. “Wait…” As if it’s slowly dawning on him, Kagami realizes, “Did you call ahead?”

“That’s what it means to get a table, so yes.”

“You actually called in and made a reservation in advance and everything?” 

“Yeah...” Aomine’s starting to feel embarrassed about it the more Kagami points it out but he doesn’t want to fight on Valentine’s day so he just grinds his teeth. Fuck, is he making fun of him? Kagami’s probably thinking that Aomine’s a fucking dork. He’s probably thinking about how far ahead Aomine must’ve been planning this. He’s probably thinking that he can’t believe Aomine did something even remotely that grownup as to call in, he’s never gonna’ let this go is he...

“...” When he looks up, Kagami’s just staring at him with his mouth open, which makes Aomine’s heart somersault. “What,” he mumbles, lip sticking out.

“.... Holy crap, I like you so freaking much,” Kagami blurts out on one breath. Aomine opens his mouth to retort but just ends up shutting his mouth again.

It somersaults again. A double barrel roll.

He shoves his hands in his pockets deeper and lengthens his strides to speed off ahead of Kagami. “Hey wait up! Did you really plan us a date on your own?! Wow, so much effort!” 

“Stop being so surprised, it’s insulting!”

“I’m just excited! I’m swept off my feet! Hey, slow down! Where're you taking us out to?”

He didn’t expect Kagami to be so happy and surprised he took the initiative. He’s glad he did this now, even though that phone call was murder on his soul. It’ll be worth it. It already is, just looking at his perky pleased face.

Aomine lets his hackles lower as Kagami catches up to him, smirking and letting him walk shoulder to shoulder with him. Humming nonchalantly, he tugs Kagami’s chain a little bit to tease him. “Well, just wait and see—”

“Aw…!”

Aomine brought his outfit in his bookbag that morning, carefully folded up for later. Kagami wears that stripey hoodie Aomine likes and can’t seem to stop smiling as they head out, cheeks like two rosy peaches.

_Aren’t you just the best, Kagami—_

The happy couples out to dinner get an eyeful of two six-foot tall boys eating a really big and expensive ice cream together.

  
  
  


They walk through the park, kiss on the bridge over the lilypad pond after sunset, and when they finally get back home, the first thing Aomine sees is a countertop full of little chocolates on wax paper. “Whoaaaa.”

“Oh… heh, yeah, I may have gotten carried away.”

Aomine blinks, shaking himself. Then he remembers that Kagami said he had something waiting for him too. These are his valentine's chocolates, aren't they.

Wait, they’re homemade. Did he just get homemade chocolates?

“Are these for me? Whoa, they’re basketballs!” Aomine kicks his shoes off and trots over, picking one up and smelling it. “Oooh… Is it banana? Yummy—” Kagami grins, cheeks flushed with pride.

“Yeah, there’s cherry ones too. Eat all you want.”

“This is awesome!”

Aomine bragged and showed it off to the other boys in his class the next day, smugly eating them. All his classmates got obligatory chocolate. He got _love_ chocolate.

. . .  
  


  
They’re all away at a practice camp and it’s chilly as fuck. He hates playing outside in the mornings. There’s practically frost on the poles of the basketball hoops and their breath comes out as steam as he jogs. Soaking in the hot springs isn’t enough to make up for it.

He wishes he could go sneak in Seirin’s room at night and snuggle in Kagami’s futon. He could just pull the blanket over his head and then blindly kick at whoever complains that he shouldn’t be in here. Maybe he can sneak Kagami into the Touou room— 

Not likely Kagami would agree. He’s been picking at Kagami all weekend. Yesterday he’d ditched the training grounds and snuck over to Seirin where they were stretching before practice. He pantsed Kagami and then ran away. And then he got his ass beat when Kagami eventually caught him.

Luckily, both their teams agreed that their ‘lover’s chase’ counted as the laps they were supposed to run anyways.

_‘That was not a lover’s chase, I was trying to kill him! —’_

Later when they’re exhausted and waiting for dinner, Aomine plops down on a bench next to Kagami in a calm moment.

“There you are,” Kagami hums. “Almost time to eat,” he mutters resentfully, stomach growling. Aomine snickers and then looks out at the treeline. Kagami must’ve been watching the sunset. It’s happening later and later now.

It’s weird that it’s already almost springtime. The cherry trees will be blooming soon and it will be time to say goodbye to his teammates. It’s already strange enough without Wakamatsu. He can’t believe he’s a third year. He doesn’t feel like one at all.

“I hope it’s pork noodles,” Kagami muses. Aomine stretches his arms above his head. He feels like slumping against Kagami’s shoulder. He’s tired and sore. And really cold. But content. This is exactly where he should be.

Aomine yawns and lets his eyes shut. “Tired?” Kagami teases. “I’m gonna’ get you in the scrimmage match tomorrow if you’re not careful.”

“You’re a hundred years too early to sneak up on me,” Aomine mumbles, barely lifting an eyelid. Kagami snickers and absently reaches out and scratches him between the shoulders a little.

“You awake?”

Aomine hums and lays his head down on Kagami’s shoulder. He’s so warm. It’s nice to lean on someone his own size. He doesn't feel so huge. He can pretend he's small enough to be babied still. “What are you doing,” Kagami laughs, bouncing him once by shrugging. 

“M’ cold,” he mumbles. “Warm me.”

When Kagami lets him stay, Aomine adjusts his head and snuggles into his neck a little more. “Stay awake, dinner is soon,” Kagami says in his ear, voice low to let him rest.

“All you think of is food,” Aomine breathes, but smiles as he feels Kagami’s arm come around his back.

People know about them. Aomine knows people talk about them at other schools. Their teammates can see them right now, sitting apart from the others and hugging. He doesn’t mind as much as he thought he would. It wasn’t so hard now.

“There,” Kagami says, a smile in his voice, his breath a light tickle against the hair around his ear. “Warm enough?”

He doesn't care who watches them right now. People can watch for a hundred years while Kagami’s arm is around him and Aomine will just keep resting here. 

“Yeah.”

Aomine can hear crickets singing in the woods. The sky is pink and purple and peach. The air is cooling rapidly, enough that his breath is starting to fog and his nose and ears are aching a little. He’d never want to be out here normally when it’s this chilly, but somehow it makes being hugged into a warm chest much cozier.

“That’s perfect.”

  
  
  
  
  


Aomine hasn’t told his parents. He hasn’t shown Kagami to them. 

He abruptly stops talking about him too, whereas before, everytime his mom asked where he’d been all day and who he’d slept over with, it’s always Kagami— _I’m going to Kagami’s house. I’m playing basketball with Kagami. Sorry I’m late, I was with Kagami._

He doesn’t tell them anymore. He wonders if they suspect. They’ve certainly noticed his change in mood. 

But then, everyone has.

It’s springtime and Aomine’s heart is in bloom.

  
  
  
  


Being boyfriends is the best. Aomine’s gotten used to it now and he’s loving it. He doesn’t know what took him so long, like jumping into water that is at first a cold and painful shock, but can be adjusted to in a few moments once you get moving.

It’s like that one summer he spent what felt like every day with Kagami, except this time it just keeps going and spills into the rest of the year. They nap together. They eat together. They play together. They sleep over at Kagami’s and wake up together and do it again.

And they kiss on the regular now too. Aomine really likes kissing. 

The sakura trees are in bloom and Aomine nags Kagami for a picnic outing. He’s not much help preparing other than listing food he wants Kagami to make and tailing him as he shops. Kagami makes him carry the basket later, which is fair— but it’s so full of food it’s kind of heavy. 

“It looks like snow!” Kagami exclaims as the petals come down, some of them drifting in the breeze as they fall. “America doesn’t have this in spring. I missed it when I was away,” he notes, looking up at the sky as they walk to the park. 

Aomine can already tell it’s going to be hard to find a secluded spot. He doesn’t want to sit by families or old couples. In his head, he’d hoped for a spot underneath a tree with Kagami but they might have to settle for a picnic table. Guess that chapstick in his pocket is going to go to waste, huh...

“Aren’t there any trees that bloom in California?” Aomine imagines a barren wasteland of factories and American flags for a second. Oh, and the Hollywood sign.  
  
“Yeah, but they’re more spread out in the city. I guess they have some festivals... You have to go to a park to enjoy it. Or a farm...” Kagami trails off, lost in thought.

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?”  
  
“I guess… It’s just not the same there. People don't make a day of stopping to look,” he mumbles, looking up in time for a petal to fly into his eyes, making him flinch. Aomine snickers.

They have to search for a bit, but Aomine eventually sees a spot under a tree for them. It’s lost a lot of its petals already and the ground under it is bumpy with no grass, but Kagami seems happy with it and lays the blanket out and cracks the picnic basket open almost immediately. 

“Where’s those sakura-mochi— I want to try one,” Aomine hums, settling down on the blanket and scoping the surroundings. There’s a couple of other sightseers set up nearby, but he’d managed to snag a spot a bit away from them. Aomine cuts a side-eye to Kagami, digging in the basket.

“Here.”

Aomine plucks a mochi out of the box, dyed pink and wrapped in a cute little sakura leaf. He pops it in his mouth and gets a taste of the anko filled center. “Mmm... Yummy—” 

“Don’t eat them all,” Kagami grumbles as Aomine throws himself down, munching happily. He’d lay across Kagami’s lap if he thought Kagami would let him, but settles for resting his head next to his leg. Kagami stays there.

Aomine had a smartass remark prepared about Kagami’s own chipmunk cheeks, already stuffed with snacks, but it dies in his throat. Looking up like this into the tree branches, the petals are glowing pink and gold as the sun shines through. They’re gently raining down over Kagami’s head, landing in his hair, resting on his shoulders. He looks like an angel... He wishes he could kiss Kagami right now.

“What’s that dumb look for,” Kagami says suspiciously, stuffing another mochi in his mouth.

“You just look so pretty right now,” Aomine murmurs, covering his shyness with hooded eyes and a smirk, hoping to embarrass Kagami more than he’s just embarrassed himself. 

It works. Kagami’s cheeks are glowing, and he won’t look at him suddenly. “... Be quiet.”

“Feed me then.” Aomine opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue. “Aaaah—”

Kagami’s glaring, but seems like he might just be considering giving in. Not soon enough though, because a petal lands on Aomine’s nose and startles him, making him lurch upwards so he can sneeze.

Kagami bursts out laughing. “Hahaha—! Oh my god!” Aomine sulks, wiping his itchy face on his sleeve. He lays back down, turning the other way from Kagami. “Hey— Haha— aww, you baby—”

He keeps giggling, and Aomine keeps scowling as Kagami picks up a petal from the blanket and uses it to tickle Aomine’s cheek, running it along his ear until Aomine reaches back to smack at his arm.

“Shut up, I’m being bullied—”

“Okay, okay…” Kagami snickers a little more, but relents, and doesn’t even say anything when Aomine pushes his luck and picks up his head, squirming so he can lay it on Kagami’s lap.

Kagami doesn’t feed him or kiss him, but he lets him stay there on the best pillow imaginable. Aomine even falls asleep like that for a minute. He can feel his head getting pet.

“You have petals in your hair…”

  
  
  


When they pack up and go home to Kagami’s place, Aomine helps put away the dishes. Kagami’s suspicious of the act of goodwill. “I’m highly offended,” Aomine says indignantly. “You go first for a bath, go, go—” he ushers, shooing Kagami out.

“Jeez, fine… Don’t break anything,” Kagami mutters, but reluctantly goes.

“As if I would!” Aomine calls, then let his shoulders drop once the bathroom door shuts. There’s no food left to put away from the picnic basket, so he just puts the plates and containers in the sink and rinses them off, wiping them dry and stacks them on the counter. 

Once that’s done… Aomine breathes into his hand and checks it. Smacks his lips together and uses some chapstick. It’s springtime—

  
  


When they’re alone at Kagami’s house, Aomine kisses Kagami a lot. It’s been a while now, hasn’t it, but he still feels a little daring every time, a swoop in his gut when he initiates, but Kagami always meets him. He just has to lean in and Kagami’s there and the world falls away— but there is no lurch of missing a step. There is no cold shock jumping into the pool. The ground leaves his feet and he floats in blackness.

He can’t explain it. Their relationship is wild and loud. They roughhouse, they make fun of each other and call names. They go hard on the court. But when Kagami kisses him, it’s different. They slow down for once, and focus on each other. It’s as if Aomine’s mind goes silent and still, like the dark, peaceful contentment of sleep. Kagami’s slow breath, a warm rhythm on his face. Everything is right in the world. This is what heaven is— eyes shut, gently feeling out Kagami’s lips.

Kagami’s holding his face, cupping his cheeks in his palms. Aomine loves when he does that.

Kissing him makes him so happy. He wants to do this whenever he can. As much as Kagami will let him. It feels so right and makes so much sense that he forgets he was ever afraid.  
  


. . .

They spend an afternoon like they’ve spent many. At Maji’s, eating burgers after school. Kagami’s been teaching him some english. Aomine’s interested enough but mostly he just likes to hear Kagami say english to him.

“Hey, say cheeseburger.”

_“Cheeseburger—”_

“Now say fries.”

 _“French fries,”_ Kagami humors him, munching on his burgers. 

“French fries,” Aomine copies, which immediately makes Kagami hide a smile in his food. 

“If you want to order soda, you should say, _I want a coca-cola, please...”_

“I want cola—”

“No,” Kagami corrects. _“Cola.”_

“Cola—”

Kagami sighs, taking a sip of his drink. He almost immediately slaps the cup down, seeming to have inhaled some fizz down the wrong pipe, because he puts an arm up and screws his face up. “Ah— _choo!”_

Luckily, he didn’t spit any food out with that, but he’d gotten some serious whiplash going. When he sneezes, his head snaps back with a gasp afterwards, like he’s surprised himself. Aomine blinks. Fuck, that’s a cute sneeze.

“That one was wet,” he notes as Kagami shakes himself. “Are you sick?”

“No,” he mutters, squirming his face around like there’s a booger stuck in an uncomfortable spot. Kagami picks up a napkin and blows his nose even though it’s rude to do that in public.

“Gross,” Aomine says as Kagami sneezes again with another cute gasp after. “Aim into your elbow, Kagami…”

“Whew. Dusty,” he complains. Then takes another big bite of cheeseburger and starts talking, mouth full. So obviously rude and so charming. “Hey,” Kagami grins. “Have you heard Kuroko sneeze?”

Aomine smirks back. “You mean have I ‘noticed’ him sneeze?” 

“Yeah! It’s like a little mouse squeaking…” Kagami trails off again for another huge sneeze of his own. He shakes himself and wipes at his teary eyes. _“Jesus—”_ he says. 

Aomine raises his eyebrows. “You know...” 

Afternoons like this are Aomine’s favorite. Wasting time after school like it’s never going to run out. Kagami looking so handsome in his school uniform with the sun coming through the window, making his necklace sparkle and his brown hair glow red. His stupid chipmunk cheeks are so loveable, Aomine just doesn’t get tired of watching him. He wants to live this afternoon over and over as many times as he can. Is it any wonder he feels daring. Love is making him stupid and brave.

“If you sneeze three times, it means someone just fell in love with you.”

Kagami looks up, blinking in surprise. Aomine puts a fry in his mouth and grins, raising his eyebrows. Kagami snorts. “Aren’t you too bold,” he mutters under his breath, but looks around furtively, and then quickly leans in and bites down on the fry, taking half to eat from between his lips. The thrill of kissing him out in the open feels like a firecracker sizzling in his chest, popping and crackling.

 _“Nice,”_ Aomine breathes as Kagami pulls back.

“Don’t push your luck,” Kagami says as he pulls back, eyes soft. “Needs practice. That’d never fly at UCLA—”

“Yeah, yeah…”

 _“Nice._ Like that.”

“Nice—”  
  
  
  
  


Aomine wishes springtime would last forever and never end. He’s content as he is. 

Kagami’s let him float along and do what he always does and Aomine hasn’t had much incentive to think about the uncomfortable reality of what being together meant. 

Something he’d been remiss in thinking on, something that he’d left to one side because he’d been allowed to. The other layer to their relationship that he doesn’t confront. At first he was just too honest to god caught up with the _finally_ of it all, finally having Kagami, being loved back, that all the things that had tortured him and taken forever to figure out, they’d all just slipped his mind. But as time went on, he settled in, and all the new things that had scared him had become things he enjoyed. 

He doesn’t want to go back to laying awake and thinking all night, feeling gross and uncertain. He doesn’t want to confront his confusions and fears because it makes him insecure and he hates that feeling more than anything. He’d rather stay as they are now. He’s comfortable with the way things are. And he doesn’t want to push himself. He doesn’t want to think about it because it’ll make him look inward and feel like he doesn’t know himself anymore. He doesn’t want to think about it— 

Sex.

  
But they’ve been together for eight months now— and things change. Things always change.

  
  
  


They’re having a sleepover at Kagami’s house. Most normal thing in the world by now. His mom is starting to complain he spends more time at Kagami’s than at home, which isn’t true, but just about.

The last couple times, Kagami has invited him to come sleep in his bed with him, in his room. Aomine’s way too pleased about agreeing, and is too much of a fucking dunce to get why Kagami’s blushing about it until later. Just teases him a little about being shy and enjoys himself snuggling next to him.

“You done?” Kagami calls, already in the bed with the blanket pulled up under his arms. Aomine lets out a big yawn, scratching his tummy and wiping some extra toothpaste foam from the corner of his lip as he plods over.

“Don’t hurry me,” he hums, and gets in.

It’s really warm and cozy with both of them in here. Kagami smells fresh and sweet after his bath, the bed is soft, the sheets comfortably cool and the mattress below warming him up. The first few times, that much was enough to content him into going to sleep quickly just lying next to Kagami, but Aomine’s always gotta push his luck. Besides, Kagami looks so shy tonight. He’s so cute and silly looking with those scrunched brows and puckered mouth. They’ve lain together out in the living room before, and have napped on the couch together. Maybe he’s embarrassed to cuddle with him in his bed, how cute...

Aomine turns on his side and scoots up to Kagami. Kagami shifts to give him a little more room, and stays laying on his back, keeping his hands folded on his tummy. 

Aomine pretends to squirm and shift for a good spot for a minute. “Will you sit still,” Kagami finally gripes, elbowing him. 

“There’s not much room. Put your arm around me,” Aomine says. Kagami looks at him for a minute, torn between a glare and more blushing, then resituates himself, awkwardly raising his arm for Aomine. Aomine moves in and nestles his head against him, putting his own arm around Kagami’s middle. He hums out a long comfortable sigh when Kagami lays his arm down. “That’s better.” 

“Yeah,” Kagami says quietly, fingers slowly trailing on Aomine’s arm. He can feel Kagami’s breath moving his hair. Usually Kagami’s the restless squirmer, but he’s lying very still, breathing slow.

“You asleep already?” Aomine teases.

“I’m worn out from basketball,” Kagami says, and he can hear the smile in his voice. 

Aomine smirks, nuzzling his head in a little more and squeezing him. Kagami’s so cozy… They should’ve done this a long time ago. He wants to sleep like this every night. Moved subtly by Kagami’s breaths and heartbeat, he’s a snug as a baby being rocked. “Too much for you, huh?”

“You wish.” Kagami’s cheek rests on Aomine’s hair. Aomine smiles and shuts his eyes.

They talk until they’re only humming replies to each other, yawning and eyes fluttering shut. Kagami’s turned on his side towards him and is holding him when they’re finally falling asleep. He’s murmuring to him, so softly that he must think Aomine’s asleep already. He’s petting Aomine’s head, running his short nails over his scalp. If he was a cat, he’d purr— 

_“I love you,”_ he says.

Those words sound so familiar, but he can't remember what they mean.

When Aomine wakes up, the first thing he notices is that Kagami’s still in the bed with him, fast asleep. Usually he’d be up and dressed already while Aomine slept in, but he’s right next to him, open-mouthed and snoring very softly.

“Cute,” Aomine whispers, sitting up and yawning, screwing his fists into his eyes. The room is cool, enough so that he wants to pull the cozy covers up again and snuggle back in, but his stomach’s growling already. 

He cracks his back, damn, he feels so well rested. He hadn’t woken up in the night even once. Smacking his lips, he slouches forward and checks the clock— eleven a.m. 

“Kagami,” he mutters.

Kagami jerks awake with a snort and a gasp, kicking out, which makes Aomine laugh. Kagami looks at him confusedly for a minute, then lets out a huge yawn, eyes closing as he relaxes back into the bed. “Time is it,” he mumbles, throwing an arm over his face. Just his lips and nose are poking out below and his shock of fluffy hair above.

Aomine nudges him to try and get him up. “Can we eat breakfast?” Kagami takes a long sleepy breath and sniffs. 

“You mean, can I make breakfast?” Kagami’s lips quirk in a smile. Aomine leans down and pecks them.

“Yeah,” he hums, laying on his stomach and leaning over Kagami on his elbows. “I want to eat _pencakey—”_

Kagami moves his arm a little, looking out at him with hooded eyes. He seems to be waking up a little more now. _“Pancake,”_ he demonstrates after a minute. 

_“Pencaaake,”_ Aomine hums, leaning down to peck him again, but Kagami dodges, rolling his head to the side and scrunching his face up. 

“Five minutes.” Aomine wants blueberries in his pancakes, so getting Kagami cranky when he’s drowsy isn’t worth it. He settles down next to him like a good boy for a couple quiet minutes so Kagami can lay there a little more. He’s so cute in the morning, clear-skinned and soft, ruffled up like a baby chick. A big muscley red one.

“Kagami,” he whispers, poking him when he can’t stand it anymore. Kagami opens an eye, awake and smiling. “I’m hungry.”

“Me too.” Kagami grins, and he looks so adorable that Aomine grabs his head in his hands and kisses him on the forehead. Kagami laughs and elbows him off. “You shower first,” he offers, settling his arms behind his head with another yawn.

Usually Kagami lets him lay in while he cooks breakfast, but then, usually Aomine’s on the futon in the front room. Maybe since they’d slept in his bedroom together for a change, he doesn’t want to leave Aomine in his room alone. “You get up too,” Aomine says poutily. He’s used to being the lazy slug of the two of them who’s impossible to get up and moving, and he doesn’t like the reverse.

“You’re like a cat who wants attention when others want to sleep, but when I want to pet you, then you want to sleep,” Kagami grumbles. 

“Who knows, I’m a mystery,” Aomine snarks, and then, feeling a little flirty in the morning, teases, “You can sure pet me whenever and I won’t complain—”

“Yeah. Well.” Kagami stares for a second and then looks away, rolling his eyes. “Whatever, just go shower first.”

“No way, you’re not going back to sleep, that’s the oldest trick in the book. I _invented_ that one!” 

Kagami must still be tired, because he's starting to get cranky now. “Aomine, _go,_ ” he demands. 

Aomine looks at him for a second, considering, then tries to take the blankets off. Kagami grabs onto them and holds them stubbornly. Aomine tugs. Kagami tugs back. Aomine gets off the bed and braces his feet so he can really yank them, and Kagami gives him a murderous look. “I am not fucking around with you, Ao—” 

Aomine yanks and they come off the bed. _“Daiki!”_ he yells, managing to hold on, a death grip in one hand, the other holding a pillow on his lap. 

“Oh,” Aomine realizes, grip going limp, and Kagami drags the blanket back. 

Oh— 

“... Uhh.” He just stands there like an idiot with his mouth open. Kagami looks even more mortified than he feels, refusing to look at him, ears red.

“You can go first,” he grits out.

“Okay,” he thinks he hears himself say, and he doesn’t remember the walk down the hallway to the bathroom, but he ends up there, fumbling for the shower knob. 

  
He stands under the water, heart pounding, and tries not to think.

  
  
  


Aomine would be happy to never address that event, because Kagami pretends like nothing happened and he does too. But of course it’s not that easy. Because now it’s got him thinking about it— now it’s _really_ got him thinking about it.

Last time they’d kissed, Kagami got way into it. It’s probably Aomine’s fault kissing him too hard, giving him the wrong idea, because Kagami got caught up in his flow and changed the mood. He’d stuck his tongue out and licked Aomine’s lip, like _tried to poke it in his mouth_.

It came like an electric shock, unpleasant and unexpected, making him break away immediately, startled. Kagami hangs on, hands gripping his shirt, neck craning to reach for him. Kagami feels too big and overbearing for a second and he’s overwhelmed with the urge to shove away from him. What— what the fuck is he doing?

“Hey!” Aomine covers his mouth as a guard. “The fuck was that…” Kagami purses his lips and tries to kiss him again, but Aomine dodges. “Idiot, don’t get carried away,” he mutters.

“Yeah,” Kagami says shortly, turning away and cracking his water bottle. “Sorry.”

Aomine keeps watching suspiciously, but reluctantly lets it drop. Kagami doesn’t take the lead again.

  
  
To make matters worse, something else happens a few days later. Things have continued on as normal, the awkwardness fading, and he’s tentatively starting to let his guard down again.

They’re out on the basketball court together doing one on ones. He keeps beating Kagami again and again and Kagami keeps wiping his brow and yelling _one more—!_ He’s fun to rile up. Dribbling around him and teasing him has become open flirtation. Playing together is like dancing.

They sit down for a break and Kagami’s showing him something on his phone. Aomine’s still embarrassed and sulky because he’d gotten hit in his head with the ball earlier and his nose had started bleeding. Because he’d gotten distracted by Kagami.

Kagami saw him be stupid and laughed at him and he’s embarrassed, so he just sits in sulky silence and ignores Kagami’s poking and prodding to get him to talk.

“Ugh, quit pouting… You’re such a baby,” Kagami groans, then sits quietly to think up a new strategy. “Would you feel better if I told you something dumb about me too? Then we’ll be even.” Aomine looks over at him, considering the offer. 

“Hm,” he mumbles. Kagami grins triumphantly.

Then he discloses, “I had a chubby year.”

“...” Aomine blinks, brow furrowing. “Huh?”

“No shit,” Kagami laughs self-deprecatingly. “I was a fucking butterball for a straight year when I was eleven. Then I was skinny and tall the next year.” Elbows resting on his knees, Kagami looks through his phone with a smile. “My dad has the pictures together in an album. It looks like someone took my photo and vertically stretched it.” 

Aomine tries imagining it, pudgy little Kagami with a high boyish voice, all fat and soft and round.

“Guess I needed all that fucking cheek fat to get taller… Storing it like a goddamn squirrel or something,” Kagami mutters, and Aomine almost lets out a burst of hysterical laughter, but manages to hold it together.

“...” Aomine looks at him for a long time. Kagami eventually looks up from his phone, lip quirked. 

“Are you saying you’re about to grow again?” Kagami frowns in confusion for a second and then his eyes snap open, and he swats Aomine over the head.

“Oh _fuck off!_ Shut—! Up—!” he yelps as Aomine bursts out cackling. 

It’s hard to imagine Kagami skinny too. Skinny with shorter bangs… He was probably cute. What if they’d known each other in middle school, would they have been friends? Would middle school have gone differently?... Would Kagami be worth as much to him now if he hadn’t had to wait so long for him?

“Oh here, I do have a picture.” Kagami shows him. 

“Oooh, lemme’ see. Were you cute?”

“Ahh, well…” Kagami rubs his neck sheepishly. “I had pretty bad acne that year. Look, I still have a scar from this one.”

Kagami's pointing somewhere on his face, but Aomine is too busy leaning in to look at the picture. It’s a school portrait of Kagami when he was a skinny beanpole. It’s even easier to see he’s mixed-race when he’s younger. If the hair wasn’t enough of a giveaway, his nose cutely sticks out from his face like a beak instead of Aomine’s flat button nose, and his monolid is understated.

His bangs are short, showing his forehead, eyebrows on full display. His face is more heart shaped, round cheeks and pointy chin, jaw not as squared yet. His neck’s still slender and his shoulders are narrower too. His cheeks are bumpy and craggy with lots of zits and he looks unhappy to be in front of the camera. What surprised him was that Kagami had smiled. Ever since age ten, Aomine’s mom has been on him for never smiling in his school photos, but Kagami’s showing his teeth at least, although it looks a little half-hearted.

_Fuck, he’s unbearably cute._

“I bulked up like crazy the next year. My dad went nuts because I outgrew all my clothes twice in one summer,” Kagami laughs, smirking at himself. “... Man, thank fuck I got on accutane or I’d probably still look like that.”

Aomine’s still staring at the picture, just about to squeak out some accusation, _where do you get off having your ugly awkward phase look so adorable, are you for real—_ but then he notices something else.

He squints and leans in. “.... What the hell is that.”

“What’s what.”

 _“That.”_ He points at little Kagami’s mouth.

“Oh!” Kagami says, brows up. He’s got no right to be so perky and oblivious. “Yeah. I had braces,” he says, like that’s an afterthought he need not have pointed out.

“Huh?...” Now that he thinks of it, that makes sense. It must be why Kagami’s teeth are American TV model straight. Aomine had assumed Kagami was just naturally fucking handsome or something— 

“NERD,” Aomine yells, which makes Kagami roll his eyes back. “Nerd,” he teases. “NERD.”

“Okay, okay, shut up already,” Kagami gripes, but seems glad to have brought his mood back up even if it meant getting harangued a little.

“So that’s why your teeth are like that.”

“Well yeah, what did you think?”

“I guess I thought they just grew like that, I dunno.” Kagami gives him a look.

“Are you an idiot?”

Aomine grins, throwing an arm over Kagami’s shoulder. “You should’ve let them grow in normally, crooked teeth are cuter, don’t you know that?”

“You mean like yours?” Kagami throws back, clearly amused and flicking a glance to Aomine’s teeth, on display in a smirk. “They’re definitely cute.”

“Hey, don’t make fun of me—” Aomine hums, standing up and stretching, loping back towards the basketball. “My family’s against plastic surgeries… But maybe I should get it. I’ll look more like you, round eyes,” he teases.

“I don’t have round eyes!” Kagami yells, getting heated and storming after him. “And straightening your teeth is not a plastic surgery!...” He’s quiet for a second and then bursts out again, “Hey, what the fuck, don’t even think of cutting your eyelids!”

There’s something else Americans get cut off but before Aomine can take the joke too far, Kagami leans in and kisses him with a noise of frustration. “I like your snaggle teeth.” Placated, Aomine hums, rubbing noses with him and trying to get another kiss. 

“Yeah?”

“And your eyes too,” he murmurs, flicking his own open to meet Aomine’s gaze, their lashes nearly brushing. “So don’t change them.”

“Hmm. If you say so, then I guess I won’t,” Aomine hums, pretending to consider. “I like your straighties too... And your lips. Actually just c’mere, I like the whole thing—”

Kagami can’t kiss when he’s smiling, he just pushes his stupid mouth onto him and laughs.

“Wow, I’ve got the most handsome boy—” Aomine hums.

“Why are you acting so nice.”

“I’m not _acting_ nice, I’m _being_ nice.” Kagami just laughs and laughs. Aomine loves his laugh. Loud and silly, uncaring of how dumb it sounds.

Fuck, he’s so loveable Aomine can’t help himself. He gets him every time, right in the heart. Aomine grabs Kagami’s face in his hands and digs his fingers through his hair, holding onto him and pulling him close so he can really kiss him hard, stupid loveable dork with his cute crinkly foldy eyes and his pokey nose and his burger breath and just everything about him— He hugs him in until they knock into each other. Aomine just wants to kiss him and squeeze him and not let go. Fuck, he loves him so much, he’s the cutest thing.

He could tease him for the rest of his life, arm around Kagami’s neck as they walk to the court, throwing pebbles at him to get his attention and make him mad, surprise-kissing him and poking fun at his raggedy shoes.

Kagami lets out a rush of a breath, putting his arms around him and kissing back with enthusiasm. He’s holding Aomine’s head, which makes him huff out a laugh and hum onto his lips. Fuck, he loves when Kagami does that...

They break apart and Aomine grins, rubbing his nose on Kagami’s and leaning in to kiss him again. _“Aren’t you the best,”_ he’s going to say, but before he can, Kagami’s smile falters and he suddenly lets go and yanks back, starting to fumble and stutter.

Confused, Aomine just stares with his brows quirked, hands still out at hip level where Kagami had pulled out of them. Kagami’s blurting out a bunch of apologies, looking surprised and embarrassed, cheeks and neck bright pink. “Oh! S-sorry! I didn’t mean to, uh…” Aomine frowns. 

“I know you’re… I mean, I’m not trying to rush you, honest, I didn’t mean—” Kagami’s so red that it’s making Aomine suspicious. When he suddenly bends his knees slightly inward and shuffles back, holding a fist down in front of him, Aomine suddenly gets it, mind going blank. 

They’d just had their hips hugged together a second ago. And Kagami’s— 

Kagami just gets more stupid and panicked when he sees Aomine’s face drop, nervously stuttering out, “I mean, I wasn’t thinking about… _that,_ I swear.” Awkwardly, he shifts a then mutters, “I just… Just now, you were so… I guess I just got a little excited…” 

Somehow, this upsets Aomine. Hearing that deeply upsets him. 

He feels hurt and wronged. He was completely caught up in thoughts of how much he loves Kagami to pieces and Kagami's mind is somewhere else entirely. He can hear Kagami’s breath catch in his throat. His eyes are big and startled. A guilty smile goes across his face and Aomine suddenly feels utterly repulsed, he feels shaky all over, gut plunging.

“Look,” Kagami says apologetically, “Just ignore it…” He fidgets a little, glancing around awkwardly, and then picks up the basketball, rolled towards them by the wind. “Okay?” he says, as if hoping to play and all will be forgiven. 

He can’t pretend nothing happened this time. If Kagami’s asking him not to think about it after being so obvious, after Aomine can _see it_ in his basketball shorts— If Kagami’s asking him to just laugh it off after Aomine thought the mood was entirely different than Kagami clearly had— If he’s saying, _no Aomine don’t be freaked out, everything’s fine, don’t pay any attention to that—_

They’d been together over half a year and Kagami had never done anything like this. Aomine hadn’t known it was on his mind, but now he wonders. Has he been waiting for the right time to take the next step?  
  


_Because this is the next step isn't it. Has Kagami been waiting? Has he been frustratedly waiting in silence for Aomine to pick up on whatever hints he’s been dropping. If he wasn’t such a stubborn idiot ignoring it all on purpose until it was impossible to ignore any longer, maybe this wouldn’t have come as a shock. Every single time he thinks it’s getting easier and he’s not going to feel like this anymore, he comes up against a wall._

_It feels so sudden. But this is the next part, isn’t it— it makes sense. But Aomine had been content not to force himself to think that far ahead. He’s let himself be happy with things as they were and had naively pretended this would never happen. And now it feels so sudden, when really, they’d been slowly building to this right in front of his eyes, haven't they— and now that it’s happening—_

“I can’t,” he says. He sounds stupid. Confused and scared and grossed out. Kagami looks let down but Aomine’s too shaken up to care. Fuck, he just wants to go home. He can’t think about anything else now. He won’t be able to get his mind off it. 

“Oh… Sorry…” He hears Kagami say, crestfallen.

“Whatever.” It’s mean. But it just comes out. He’s mad. Defensive. He’s being mean and he already knows that what he’s really mad at is himself, but he’s mean to Kagami instead. He shouldn’t be punishing Kagami for this but part of him wants to. He wants to give him the cold shoulder and punish him for doing that…

It’s wrong, but it’s easier than admitting the problem is him. That he’s scared. It’s easier to say it’s Kagami’s fault for scaring him and be mad at him. Why did he have to do that, and ruin everything. Why’d he have to do that… 

Aomine’s already gone further than he’d ever thought he could go. For Kagami. Loving Kagami made it worth it, even though it was hard at the start, it always got easier. But this is different. This is so far over the line he can’t even see it anymore. 

This is just too hard.

Way too hard.

Stupid Kagami. Messing everything up...

“You wanna’ play some more?...” Kagami awkwardly rubs his arm and shifts, not knowing what to do. He looks so sorry about it that Aomine can’t really blame him that much or be mad at him, but he can’t seem to relax again. He’s shaken up. He just clenches his fist and won’t look at him. 

He shrugs his shoulder. “Not really.”

“Oh. Well, what do you wanna’ do now?” He shrugs again.

“Okay… How about we go get some drinks then and come back later… I’ll buy,” Kagami tries, keeping his distance, and Aomine grunts, gathering up his stuff. 

“Fine.”

He knows he’s bringing the mood down and that being short is hurting Kagami. He has to be, Kagami’s never this quiet and subdued otherwise, but Aomine can’t fake a smile right now to reassure him. The most he can do is keep quiet because that’s better than snapping and starting a fight. Kagami scuffs his toe on the pavement and then follows reluctantly. Aomine doesn’t let them bump shoulders when they walk. He doesn’t let their fingers brush. Kagami looks like he feels like crap but it doesn’t make Aomine feel any better.

The day’s pretty much ruined and he ends up going home early, throwing himself down on his bed. He stares at the ceiling for a while and then rolls over, face in his pillow as he groans. 

He doesn’t end up sleeping much, up all night with his thoughts. 

He doesn’t know how to feel about it. He’s hesitant to accept it. Admitting he’s frightened feels pathetic enough, but thinking about what happened earlier makes him want to bury himself in a hole and hide. 

He’s intimidated by Kagami’s passion. There’s no putting a mask on it anymore. There’s no pretending. Kagami has... those kind of feelings about him. Does he… does he want to do things with Aomine? He’s never said so before… What would Kagami say? What would _he_ say?

Up until now Aomine’s mostly been coping with the little things. Other people seeing them touch hands. Flirting in front of their teams. Kissing Kagami in semi-secluded spots. He’d let himself go into some false sense of security that this was all innocent and didn’t really matter. 

This is like a bucket of ice water. It’s like a reminder that this is… _gay._

No one would call that innocent flirtation or curiosity. That kind of thing would be a stain on Aomine’s life that he couldn’t remove later when... when they split up.

Crossing the line with Kagami, pushing their luck more and more, it feels scary. Part of Aomine wants something to hold onto, some last ditch excuse in case he doesn’t like it, something he can fall back on and write it off if he changes his mind. _He was never really gay, he didn’t do anything gay, it can't be held against him—_

He’s rationalized it in his mind that kissing Kagami is fine, loving him is fine, but once he does more than that, it’s past the point of no return. There’s something inside him that he’s holding onto desperately.

Doing… _more_ with Kagami… He’d be letting that thing go. Whatever it is, he doesn’t feel secure without it yet. He doesn’t know what it is.

Maybe it’s his masculinity. His pride. The cool confident facade of uncaring arrogance he puts on for others. No one will buy it anymore. If he gives in on this, it’ll feel like losing. No one will see him the same ever again.

Or— 

Or maybe it’s some lingering innocence left over from boyhood. Something that hasn’t grown up yet. This idea that he can love Kagami as much as he wants, as freely and deeply as he can. 

And that love doesn’t _count_ as gay as long as they keep being _‘pure’_ with each other.

_He’s not mad at Kagami, is he. He’s mad that Kagami took away his security blanket. He’s scared because he can feel his excuses getting knocked down one by one, and soon it’ll just be him, naked and alone for the world to mock—_

_He’s gone so far for Kagami already, further than he’d thought he could go, done more than he’d ever expected he was capable of. Kagami can’t ask this of him._

Letting that something go. He doesn’t know if he has that in him. He doesn’t know if he can be that vulnerable. If he can be that brave to open himself up that far. If he can let the whole world see him that way. 

He can take his basketball shoes out of the box and let Kagami crease them, he can let him ruin their collector’s value and tarnish them. They can’t be repaired or go back to mint condition, and he’s kept them perfect so long, but Kagami’s worth it.

But this is different… This is different. He’s not an Air Jordan 1 and if he gives in on this and crosses the line, no one’s going to think of him the same afterwards. He won’t be able to go back. 

Even if he wanted to, even if he weren’t too scared, he doesn’t think he could do it. It’s just too hard to let go of.

_Even if it’s Kagami._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let him love you for fucksake


	4. Chapter 4

Kagami’s been texting him a lot this weekend. It’s the first one in a while that Aomine hadn’t invited himself over for.

_‘I made teriyaki, come over and have some— I’ll keep it hot for you.’_

_‘You busy? Let’s play basketball later.’_

_‘You okay, Aomine? Text me when you can…’_

Aomine ignores it for a while, maybe a little spitefully. Kagami’s still walking on eggshells and being way too nice. Aomine knows he’s being a piece of shit about this whole thing but he still doesn’t answer. He doesn’t want to see Kagami. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

The texts start to trail off as the days go by. Eventually, out of desperation, Kagami just sends a basketball emoji— a unspoken cry that begs, _please say you still love me? Don’t break up—_

That gets through. Aomine knows he can’t hide forever. And he does still love Kagami. He supposes he can forgive him. Aomine’s getting no joy out of punishing him for something that wasn’t his fault. It’s not Kagami’s fault that he’s being scared and weird.

When Aomine meets him at the court, Kagami’s happy to see him. He shoots a tentative smile towards him and approaches hesitantly. Aomine doesn’t greet him with a kiss or a noogie like usual and Kagami keeps his distance too, sensing his walls are still up.

“Hey! Ready to get destroyed?”

He’s not. He’s never been ready for any of the things Kagami does to him. But he always seems to come back. Maybe that’s why they say love makes fools of us all.

“You wish,” Aomine says cooly, but smirks, and Kagami’s nervousness seems to dissipate. 

“Missed your stupid face, dummy-mine,” Kagami says, and he’s no good at hiding his relief.

They warm up. They play. Everything seems fine. Everything’s normal. Kagami doesn’t keep his distance and doesn’t act cagey and Aomine’s guard starts to go down. Maybe— maybe it really was just a one-off and he's safe.

Aomine relaxes and starts to smirk and stick his tongue out at Kagami when they’re in close quarters fighting for the ball. He dribbles through his legs, keeps the ball teasingly out of reach and then tosses it behind his back to grind Kagami’s gears.

“Fuck! One more!” Kagami demands, panting and sweating, face lit with excitement. 

“Nah, I’m tired now.”

“You can’t leave it like that! I’m fired up now!” Aomine takes a drink and scratches his ear, pretending to be bored. 

“You can’t catch up to me in a hundred years.”

“I’ll chase you for a hundred years then.” 

Aomine stares at him for a second and then his cheeks color and he blurts out yelling, “Idiot, don’t say that so loud!”

 _“One more time—”_ Kagami says, something he says so much that Aomine would know it backwards and forwards, english or no. 

“Well, I guess it can’t be helped then.” Kagami smirks victoriously, bracing his feet on the pavement for Aomine to come at him again.

They play until other kids show up and want to play three on three. Might as well have been one on three. Kagami always works best in a team, but Aomine’s a ball hog, and Kagami’s all he sees. 

Kagami’s guys are amateurs but they’re not complete idiots, and set Kagami up for a fast break and a winning dunk. Aomine’s a split second too slow, he can’t jump high enough to touch the bottom of Kagami’s wings. Those moments when he hangs in the air and Aomine’s caught looking at him, it feels like forever.

Kagami wins. 

_I’m the one chasing you, idiot— don’t you see._

Kagami high fives his new friends and crows a victory. Aomine can’t help but shake his head and snort. Still riding the high of his victory, Kagami comes up to him and slaps him on the butt, _hard._ “Good game!” Aomine jolts, going stiff, spine utterly rigid. 

“How’s that for a hundred years— I got you! WOO!” he yells, the fucking airhead. “Buy me burgers, loser!”

Aomine manages to _very gracefully_ recover without being noticed. “Fine,” he groans, “Don’t break the bank, fatass, I’m a little light right now…”

The smallfries screw off pretty soon and it’s just him and Kagami left to gather their bags. Kagami jogs over to the bench to get his water bottle. “Whew,” he gasps, and picks up the bottom of his shirt to wipe his wet face, exposing his abs and the underside of his pecs, nipple-flashing Aomine. The sun’s lighting up all that sweat as his stomach contorts and flexes and when Kagami takes his face out with a satisfied sigh, he looks up at Aomine and his mouth opens.

Aomine jolts, realizing after a second that his eyes have been drawn in just as if he's caught sight of real boobs, and what's more, he’s been caught looking. Kagami makes a stuttering noise and then quickly puts his shirt down. He fumbles for a second for his water and then sharply turns around, drinking it like he’s trying to drown. 

Aomine picks up the basketball and grips it. Knocks his forehead against it and stares forward wide-eyed. 

What the fuck. _What the fuck—_ what the fuck?

Kagami keeps his distance on the way to Maji’s. He keeps glancing over at Aomine. Neither of them know what the fuck to say, it’s awkward as fuck. Kagami’s apologetic and nice again. He only orders ten burgers and he doesn’t try to invite Aomine to spend the night.

 _‘Sorry I made things awkward. Again—’_ his eyes seem to say as he watches Aomine across the table, practically inhaling his burgers so they don’t have to talk. Not that he’d usually care about talking with his mouth full.

Kagami doesn’t try anything, acting like a big puppy who wants to please after getting scolded for being naughty, ears back and huddled on the floor, tail wagging. Aomine doesn’t play footsies. He doesn’t put his arm over Kagami’s shoulder when they leave. He doesn’t kiss him all day. It’s like they’ve taken one step forward and two steps back.

 _‘Yep,’_ Aomine thinks back. 

_‘It’s you, me, and this wall of sexual tension you built between us.’  
_

Stupid Kagami…

  
  
  
  
  


Next time they play, Aomine’s guard is down. It seems like long enough now that they’ve put it behind them, but this time when the match is over, Aomine notices right away.

The ball whooshes through the hoop and he gets the last point, and the scuff of their shoes on the pavement slows. Kagami’s red blur of movement stalls, the game’s over, and their hammering hearts and the rhythm of their panting filters back in.

Kagami’s a half hard in his shorts. There’s no mistaking it once he’s noticed. 

It’s like suddenly spotting the killer in the distance in the horror movie before the others have. Which is a stupid way of putting it, but the same bolt of surprise and dread strikes through him, stomach swooping hard. It’s a sick and horrible knot in his throat and makes his palms clammy.

Is this just how things are now? They can never go back to normal now that they’ve crossed that line and Aomine’s always going to have to be on his guard? Kagami’s always going to be thinking about it, looking at him and holding himself back, and Aomine...

He’s done some more thinking.

Aomine hadn’t thought about it all year till now but now that he is, he can’t stop. He’d thought they were just going at their own pace, but now he’s starting to think that Kagami was just being patient with him. He’s been waiting for Aomine. Waiting for Aomine, _the blockhead,_ to finally get a clue.

How long has Kagami been thinking like this on his own. Aomine doesn’t like to compare himself to that guy, but he knows Kagami had moved quicker with Hitoshi. 

It’s been months now they’ve been together and Kagami hasn’t brought it up once. And now that Aomine’s thinking about it, it’s _really_ got him thinking. 

Maybe Kagami thought that by now, Aomine would be okay with it. Maybe he’s hoping Aomine will return his… his whatever it is. Maybe he’s just now realizing that Aomine hasn’t made any progress and isn’t any closer to doing this than the day they’d gotten together and is starting to get discouraged.

Maybe. Maybe he’s realizing he was right. And that all Aomine ever turned out to be was a huge disappointment.

The pain of that thought feels so much worse.

Kagami notices the look on his face and immediately looks guilty again. He looks humiliated and exasperated with himself. “Sorry,” he groans. “Sorry…” He sounds so earnest. He scratches at the back of his hair and tries to make it go down. 

“... I got excited. My bad…” He’s smiling a little, looking embarrassed. Aomine swallows and looks down at his feet, feeling cold and slimy worms in his gut. Kagami’s trying to talk to him but he’s not paying attention. He’s trying to fight down the tightness in his throat. This feels awful. This feels like end of the world. 

Kagami… wants him, or something. So much that they can’t even play basketball anymore without something happening. He wants Aomine and he just can’t give him what he’s asking. He just can’t do it. He just can’t, no matter what Kagami’s expecting. And Kagami’s going to be disappointed. Or mad. Maybe even hate him for leading him on and unknowingly making him wait this long and waste his time...

That thought makes him want to yell and scream, he wants to throw a fit. This isn't fair. _Why did you have to do this. Everything was fine, why’d you have to make this difficult, why— why are you making me be gay. I can’t be gay— even for you, I just can’t. Why couldn’t you have kept your mind out of the gutter and controlled your stupid boners, why did you do it—_

_What more do you want from me, I've been trying so hard. I've gone so far already. Why can't you just be happy with what I've already given you... Isn't this enough?_

Maybe that's what's bothering him the most about all this. He's here loving Kagami so much, he'd thought everything was a certain way, and Kagami... Kagami isn't thinking the same way as him. Aomine feels like... He almost feels like his love has been cheapened. He feels so hurt and embarrassed...

He wants to lash out. Wants to be mad. Wants to blame him. But he can’t. He can’t seem to say or do anything.  
  


Kagami sighs. “Daiki, at least look at me…”

Aomine looks up reluctantly. Kagami’s voice is lower than usual, his posture defensive, like he’s trying to look as small and harmless as possible. It just makes him feel even shittier.

Kagami’s always been so great to him. He puts up a show of griping that Aomine’s a brat, but he does what he wants to do, feeds him what he wants to eat. He treats him well. Better than he probably deserved sometimes. And for a second he feels so bad that he wants to disappear. 

Kagami just got away from someone who didn’t appreciate him. Someone who made him feel like everything was his fault. Someone who blamed him and accused him and put all the responsibility on Kagami to make the effort. Someone who took his giving heart for granted. Aomine had promised he’d never be like that. 

Kagami deserves to be with someone who wasn’t too scared to meet all of his generosity with reciprocation. He deserves to be with someone less pathetic.

He deserves his simple requests met, but Aomine feels that he just wants too much from him. Too much is being asked of him and he just...

“Daiki, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to…”

Aomine tries to swallow, tries to believe that. Kagami’s looking at him so imploringly that it makes Aomine dig his thumbnail into his fist. 

“I’d never ask you to do something you didn’t wanna’ do, c’mon, you know that,” Kagami says, so reassuring and nice about it. So soft and gentle, like he’s a scared bunny ready to bolt.

“I’m not mad or anything… I’m not mad at you,” he tells him tentatively, brows scrunched together. “It doesn’t mean I was expecting anything,” he promises. “Honest.” 

Aomine told him that once, in another time about another person. That he didn’t have to do what he didn’t want. Didn’t have to be pressured. Kagami’s here in front of him telling him he’d never rush him if he wasn’t ready. That he hadn’t even been _asking._ He’s not mad or disappointed… He just got carried away on his own, that’s all. It’s not Aomine’s fault. Kagami’s okay with going at his pace.

Kagami looks away, getting flustered by his silence. “So… so please don’t let it bug you.”

His hurt feelings ease a tiny bit, still suspicious and sensitive. Can it be true. He doesn’t think that’s possible for someone to be so patient and understanding. How can he be that perfect. Kagami can’t mean it. If he’s been getting caught up thinking about him like that so much that he can’t even play basketball, then…

“Shouldn’t you be focusing on the game,” he mutters hesitantly. If it really meant so little to Kagami that it can be ignored, if he’s not upset, then why is it interrupting his focus. If it’s such a small thing then why is it so big that he can’t stop thinking of it. 

It can’t be that easy.

Kagami blinks, then laughs self-deprecatingly. “I am. But well…” Smiling shyly, he mumbles, “You're my boyfriend. I’m focused on you too, you know…”

Aomine flushes. He’s too honest. Aomine will never understand how he can be so unashamed like that. Must be his American side. So bold…

Kagami looks away, hand rubbing the back of his neck, and the ball of hurt and anger in his gut eases a bit more. He hadn't thought of it this way before. Maybe he'd unfairly felt that by getting horny like that, somehow it meant Kagami didn't love him as purely as Aomine loves him, but what Kagami just said made him look at it a different way, and it doesn't feel like such a slight.

He feels... fuck, is this flattery? _‘He got excited admiring me, huh?’_ Well… maybe he can forgive that.

“Gay,” he accuses. Kagami’s cheeks glow and he scuffs his foot, lip sticking out. He doesn’t deny it. Aomine snorts and starts to feel even better. Maybe the snail’s in Kagami’s hand now, his sweaty salty hand, and Aomine’s just barely starting to put his foot back down and peek out. He always does, no matter how many times he's burnt. Can't seem to help himself.

“Yeah well. I am, so.” Kagami grins sheepishly when Aomine snorts. “Wanna’ play or what…”

Aomine smiles, stiff shoulders relaxing. He’s feeling much better. So much so that he gets it in him to flirt a little, test the water. Kagami perks up, still looking embarrassed, but so pleased to be forgiven that he doesn’t care if Aomine teases a little.

“Dunno’. Can you handle it? Don’t worry, I’ll keep my shirt on so you can focus,” he hums, smirking. Kagami lets out a groan and huffs. He glances at Aomine for a second and then looks away, cheeks coloring, and actually— Aomine gets a little thrill up his back.

“Ugh. Whatever. Winner picks dinner.”

Aomine grins. Kagami’s twitching his nose and trying not to smile. “Okay then.”

His confidence is starting to come back as whatever perceived threat had been bothering him seems to go away. Maybe he’s even feeling a little flattered, enough to preen and show off. He puts his arms behind his head and stretches to tease him, grinning like the shithead he knows he’s being. “Focus this time, okay?”

Kagami huffs poutily, and Aomine reaches out and swats him. It’s the first time he’s touched him in a while. It’s like back in the beginning when all he’d had the courage to do was tease Kagami by pulling his pigtails, throwing acorns at him and annoying him, because he wants his attention but doesn’t know how to show it.

If this gets him attention too, then maybe that’s okay. If Kagami’s admiring him and getting revved up, then maybe that’s not so bad.

_Focus on me, then. Watch me, Kagami— I'll give you something to look at.  
  
_

Maybe it’s not so hard. It just gets easier as you go, doesn’t it… 

  
  


_But after feeling that— after knowing that this is how Kagami thinks of him, it’s like the idea has been put into his head now. He’s constantly aware of Kagami’s little looks, an appreciative glance at Aomine, a once over, the little color in his cheeks, lighting up his smiling face as his eyes stick to Aomine._

_A presence that bores into him, hot crackling energy trails that follow him off the court._

_I’m your boyfriend, so of course I’m excited about you. Of course I want you.  
_

_It makes sense.  
  
_  
  


_If that’s the case, shouldn’t the same be happening to Aomine too?..._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Aomine’s not gay. He’s just not.

A guy’s musculature doesn’t interest him. He’s used to the smell of sweat. Big shoes and wide shoulders and tall statures just make him think of sports. He doesn’t get worked up watching boys play shirtless. He doesn’t give a fuck about showering in the open. Dicks are dicks. They’re just… there.

He knows what it’s supposed to feel like. Laying in his room with his collection of softcore porn, he can tell you it’s no joke. His best pastime after basketball and napping is masturbating. He knows what attraction is supposed to feel like and that hasn’t gone away after falling for Kagami. His eyes just shoot straight to boobs and get glued there. Teasing low cuts and cute poses. Scandalously arranged cleavage perks his interest enough to flip through pages he’s looked at a hundred times. With pictures of girls, he gets an immediate reaction.

He knows what he’s supposed to feel. So he would know if he's gay, because he doesn’t get that from guys. Guys playing ball with their chests bare, sweaty and topless. Guys with their dicks out at the public bath.

It doesn’t do anything for him. Even looking at Kagami. Thinking of Kagami. Kagami who’s more interesting and important than anyone in the world, who Aomine can’t take his eyes off of— it doesn’t do anything for him. Not the way looking at pictures of breasts do. 

He hasn’t thought of Kagami that way before now. Not since he’d watched him with Hitoshi and wondered, tried to imagine them in that position to satisfy some weird niggling curiosity that wouldn’t abandon him.

He hasn’t thought of Kagami like that. He’s Kagami. He’s the loveable face and the determined spirit that Aomine loves. Kagami’s everything Aomine didn’t know he wanted, more than he’d dreamed of when he’d been waiting for a rival to appear. Kagami’s… His brain can’t categorize him. There’s no one similar enough to group him with. Aomine’s heart has its own special place for Kagami. He’s his own separate thing.

Maybe its part of why he’s let himself believe that none of this counts as gay, because it’s not like Aomine was in it for... for _dicks_ or something.

When he thinks of Kagami, that just doesn’t come to mind. But now. Now it’s in his head. Now it’s not Aomine and Kagami— now when he thinks about it, they’re two male bodies, and when he looks at it that way, he doesn’t know if… it’ll _work._

They’re not going to fit together. 

  
  
  


_Even if he wanted to go further someday, even if he ever gets over whatever’s holding him back, even if he wasn’t too scared—_ he’s a little concerned that _when-if-ever_ they do go further… what if he just doesn’t get turned on. What if it doesn’t work.

He can picture it in his mind. The rush of shame and humiliation when he can’t get it up in the moment, the disappointment and hurt on Kagami’s face. What if he can’t get himself there. What if he doesn’t _like_ it.

They can’t go back to before this was an issue. They can’t go back to the days they first got together and it wasn’t on their minds. They can’t go back. So if they add this to their relationship and it doesn’t work, does that mean it’s over?

He really, really likes Kagami. He means so much to Aomine, but what if they start trying to do things— what if, _if they ever get that far,_ what if it just doesn’t work? Will Kagami be frustrated? Shit, what if it hurts his feelings. What if he takes it personally and thinks Aomine doesn’t care about him...

Aomine groans and throws his arms over his face.

… Is he even attracted to Kagami? Honestly?

Kagami's good-looking for sure, he can admit that to himself. It's not even hard to do, that's just a fact as far as he's concerned. Not that he has to tell Kagami that.

He’s adorable when he’s mad. When he’s happy. When he’s excited. When he’s driven. He’s handsome when he’s lost in thought and his face is relaxed. He’s so cute when he’s sleeping. 

He’s just captivating when he’s playing basketball.

But Aomine just doesn’t know if any of that counts. None of that is attraction, right. _It_ has never happened to him looking at Kagami, handsome or not. Surely if it was possible it would’ve happened by now. Surely if it hasn’t happened yet, that means it’s just not going to happen.

Aomine kicks his pants down and throws a blanket over his lap. Fuck it. He’ll just cheat. If it works, it works.

Flicking through to his favorite magazine spread, the one with the double J-cups, Aomine starts squeezing and rubbing his dick through his underwear, already perking up, nice— 

He plays with it until he’s hard enough and then tosses the mag to the side. Then he puts his head back and shuts his eyes and jerks himself. He could get himself off without any material probably, but he wants to know…

Wants to know if he can masturbate on his bed, no magazines, and just think about his boyfriend. 

Kagami in the lockers, taking off his swimsuit. Kagami’s naked body, he knows what it looks like. The cobra shape of his back. Aomine bites down on his lip and furrows his brow as his erection starts to flag a little. He’s thinking too hard and he lost it— 

He’ll cheat if he has to. He’ll cheat if it works. He’ll get himself to the edge, he’ll physically stimulate himself enough that he’ll be on the edge anyway, he’ll trick himself and think of Kagami at the last minute and make himself cum right then. If it works, he doesn’t care.

Aomine picks his magazine back up and takes another glance to get himself back into it and keeps trying. Kagami— Kagami swimming in the river in his underwear, the water making the fabric see through and clingy. Kagami hanging from the hoop, exposing his midriff. Kagami playing basketball.

What would it feel like to touch him. Just run his hands over his body. What would it be like if they got that far. What if what he’s doing to himself right now, what if they did that to each other. He can feel his fist starting to speed up, grip tighter. The manual stimulation is enough to keep him rising up to the plateau.

Any of that. It feels like something he’s not supposed to do. Something forbidden. His thirteen year old self would think he’s such an idiot. If he’d been given the opportunity to date Mai-chan instead of jerking it to porn mags all day, there’s no way he would’ve held himself back all shy, feeling squeamish and gross. No way would he be this hesitant, he would’ve jumped at the opportunity. He would’ve tried to get in those boobs as soon as she’d let him. So he doesn’t get why.

It’s stupid that now that he actually has unrestricted access to the person he likes, he can't seem to go for it. Too much is holding him back. If he does it, he can’t keep saying he’s not gay. It’ll be an irrefutable act of gayness that he can’t deny or brush off with a million Mai-chans.

He can’t be like that.

Aomine stops for a minute and lets it stand up on its own while he reaches for the lotion on his nightstand and squirts some in his palm, warming it up for a second and then spreading it on his cock.

He breathes through his mouth, letting it rush past his teeth as he turns his hand over and rubs himself off to the side, using his other hand to hold the base.

_But if he could, if he wasn’t too scared, if it was different, would he want to—?_

He’s getting closer now, pulling the foreskin back with one hand to keep the sensitive tip exposed and using the other to beat off. Jolts of pleasure shoot through every time he completes a stroke, his palm closing around the head.

_In a world where nothing could hurt him or change him and there wasn’t anything scary about it..._

Almost there. Gritting his teeth and huffing quietly, he keeps the rhythm and thinks of Kagami’s face. He wonders if Kagami masturbates like he is now, thinking of him. He wonders if Kagami thinks of touching him and gets himself off to it.

He’s right at the peak and he can think whatever he wants now and it doesn’t flag. He’s too close. He can think whatever he wants and it’ll just get him closer. Kagami using his shirt as a sweat rag.

Kagami’s tan line...  
  
  


_In a world with no consequences—_

_He would definitely do it._

  
  
  
  
  


Afterwards when his temper cools and his breath is slowing down and his warm stomach is going cold and slimy, he lays there and tries to figure out what he feels.

He feels weird. He feels the same after-guilt he always does after getting off to questionable material. At a certain point when masturbating he’ll get turned on enough that he knows he could blow to anything, and then when he comes down he feels like a freak and a bad person. He feels guilty and wonders if that means he’s actually into what he watched. _Abduction hentai. A fantasy gangbang. Tentacles—_ stuff that he only gets off to because he was already jerking off while he scrolled for something new and he was in the moment—

He feels like that right now. He feels like he shouldn’t have done that and is mortified that he’d gotten off to that. He doesn’t know anymore if he was trying to prove to himself that he could do it or if he’d actually hoped it wouldn’t work.

Would that have even worked if he hadn’t made it work. Did that even count. He kind of just beat off until the stimulation put him over the edge and then thought of Kagami but it’s not like that’s what got him there. Does that count.

_Does he want it to count._

What does this mean. So he can technically make himself if it came to it. Would it work if they ever actually tried something or did it only work because he— “Fuuuuck,” Aomine groans, reaching for some tissues and wiping his belly. This is so messed up. Why did he even do that.

He rolls over for a nap, stuffing his head under his pillow with a huff. It doesn’t block out his stupid thoughts.

_The fact that that was even possible, that he was even able to get off at all, doesn’t that mean something. If it really wasn’t going to work, shouldn’t he have wilted completely._

_It counts and he did something gay, and if he ever wanted to go that far, he could—_

  
  


_But he absolutely won’t._

  
  
Well...  
  
  


_Nah, nevermind._

  
  
  
  
  


He doesn’t try that again but every time he jerks off after that, he remembers that he did that and that turns into thinking about how he thought of Kagami while jerking off, which honestly, there’s no real substantive difference there. 

How many times does he have to go through it before it just counts as jerking off to Kagami, he doesn’t know. But it doesn’t count. Just sitting there and thinking of Kagami doesn’t get him hard. He has to like... play with it and do what he’d do if he were just thinking about nothing. It doesn’t just happen on its own. He wonders if at some point he’ll do it enough times that it’ll actually go up just from thinking of Kagami. Is that the day he’s truly gay— who can say for certain. 

In the meantime, he’s glad to be back to normal with Kagami even if he’s been privately brooding on the subject. They’re back to joking and flirting, and kissing isn’t awkward anymore.

“You look like a pepperoni,” he teases, after he’s made Kagami laugh so hard he can barely keep from spitting out the food in his mouth. He’s coughing like crazy into his elbow, eyes scrunched up, and he just can’t stop laughing, face red and eyes tearing. 

“I breathed food-” He coughs and coughs, wheezing, barely able to talk. “Gimme your drink—”

Aomine’s been thinking. And he keeps saying he doesn’t need to compare himself to that shithead who came before, but if he does, in a way, that guy beat him. And that gets under his skin. All the shit that Kagami had let that guy do, and he says he likes Aomine way more than he’d ever liked him.

And Aomine loves Kagami way more than Kimura had ever loved Kagami. He cares about Kagami and he always swore he’d treat him better than he had. He’d put in the effort. He’d push himself further than he thought he could go, and Aomine thinks maybe, if it’s Kagami… Aomine ought to at least try. Even if he’s scared. Kagami deserves that much. 

He doesn’t ask for much. He doesn’t ask for anything from Aomine. And if he’s not expecting anything and he’s not going to rush Aomine, then maybe it’s different— 

_And in a way, a tiny fraction of this might be that he doesn’t want to be compared with Kimura. He doesn’t want to try and then fall short and end up feeling stupid and mediocre and second best. Kagami would be too nice to say anything, but Aomine would know._

It shouldn’t matter. He’s the one Kagami loves. He’s the one who makes Kagami laugh. He’s the one Kagami wants to kiss. He’d probably like Aomine no matter how bad he kissed. No matter how long he makes him wait, he loves Aomine better than he ever did Hitoshi.

But it gets him thinking. Even Hitoshi had done at least that much for him. Even Hitoshi had given Kagami the bare minimum physical affection, he’d returned Kagami’s attraction whole-heartedly — _even too much so —_ and here Aomine was making him wait, wait, wait, here Aomine was spurning him and denying him because he doesn’t want to commit to being gay. Because he doesn’t have the guts to face himself or accept the terrifying vulnerability of being known.

It really gets him thinking. It’s so hard on his own. But when he gets to thinking of those two. He feels a little twinge of nervousness. Of insecurity. That guy did it. He can remember it clear as day. Kagami’s eyes sweetly closed, his smile. How he seemed to bask in the attention.

He wonders if Kagami ever wishes Aomine would be like that to him. He wonders if Kagami ever wishes Aomine would give him those same thrills. It makes Aomine feel anxious. Small and sad. He wants to overwrite Kagami’s bad memories. He wants to outshine that guy so completely that there’s no contest.  
  


_If that fuckhead could do it, Aomine can do it better._

  
“Damn, I think it’s in my nose.” Kagami holds a hand under his chin and sniffs ungracefully, nose dripping. “I’m gonna’ get you for this, you shit. Just wait till I’m making dick jokes about you, see if you like it, you scaredy-cat…” 

Aomine smirks. Maybe it’s hard— _but it gets easier as you go._ Maybe he can’t do this— _until he can._

_Until the right circumstances, until he gets the right push._

_Until it’s Kagami with sandwich and snot coming out of his nose and red teary eyes and his whole face and neck pink from coughing._

“I wasted a bite of my sub for your bullshit. Apologize to me, it’s in my lung, this is your fault…” Kagami looks up, still kind of smiling from his laughing fit, eyes still streaming, face glowing like a tomato. He’s messy but he looks so happy that it’s making Aomine smile. Why’s he this perfect. Who told him he could do that. Maybe he was born that cute. Maybe he was just born to be a perfect match for Aomine, suited to him in every way.

_And Aomine, has he gone through life not knowing he was just the right amalgamation of traits to fit a boy he hasn’t even met yet, that he doesn’t even know exists yet. He’s gone through life whole not realizing he’s part of a pair until they suddenly collide and slot perfectly— how can they not fit together. It's so obvious._

God, he wants to kiss him.

“Oh no, “ Kagami says suspiciously, wiping his leaky eyes and grimacing. “No way, asshole. Absolutely not. I just hacked up my lungs in front of you, you’re not kissing me right now.”

Aomine huffs a laugh.

_Maybe that’s what it means to be fated for someone—_

“Then you come and kiss me,” he whispers, and Kagami’s face softens and becomes impossibly redder.

He takes Aomine by the back of his head and pulls him in, holding his face, and Aomine gets a load of sandwich breath. Kagami’s cupping his face, cradling his head, fingers in his hair as they kiss. His mouth is soft and wet, melting so easily against his own lips, so pliable that they just give way. Kagami’s pushing into him, holding onto him hard and putting pressure into it. Aomine meets it, matching his pace, heart rate starting to go up.

_He thinks maybe, if it’s so hard, why does it feel like the rightest thing in the world. If it’s so scary to go this far, why does it make so much sense. If it feels nasty, why does it feel good—_

Still panting, Kagami pulls back to breathe for a second, then squeezes his face in his hands and moves back in to kiss him again. Aomine puts a hand up to the side of his face, petting his sideburn with his thumb, and his stomach flips as he tentatively tilts his head to the side, parting his lips. He brings his other hand up to hold Kagami still, stomach starting to flip and spin as he realizes, fuck he’s actually going to do it—

He opens his mouth up and lets his tongue touch Kagami’s lips, a tiny tease, shyly inviting him to approach— _it’s okay this time, Kagami, he’ll go first and tell him to try again, he won’t run this time, he won’t cover his mouth, he won’t—_

He hears Kagami’s breath stutter, he can feel him respond immediately, his hands gripping him tightly. Aomine can feel his surprise, his delight, his hesitance, can hear the gears turning in his head, _will Aomine let him, can he do it this time…_ Kagami’s lips brush his as he swallows and lets some air out through his teeth, shaky and excited.

Kagami moves in slow, so slow and careful it makes Aomine’s gut clench. He tries to relax so he’s not stiff when Kagami meets him, but all he can manage is not snapping his mouth shut, waiting there as Kagami’s lips finally brush his and he touches his tongue onto Aomine’s a little. Not enough to really exchange saliva, or to go into Aomine’s mouth, just a shy little hello. Aomine doesn’t pull back as Kagami licks his lower lip a tiny bit as he closes his mouth around his in a kiss. Aomine lets out a breath and kisses back, and when their lips part again for the next one, he moves his tongue out to Kagami’s when it comes searching across his lower lip.

His mouth is warm. His tongue is so soft licking across his, little tender strokes that reach through with every kiss, getting their lips wet until they slide across each other like silk. Kagami’s making noise, little puffs of breath coming through his nose, gasping through his mouth, a tiny little sound stuttering in his throat.

Aomine’s pulse is thundering in his ears, fingertips trembling as he holds him in his hands. Eyes shut, Kagami’s face against his own, curious and nervous, he can’t believe he’s going this far. They’re making out, aren’t they.

Kagami’s getting into it, showing no signs of slowing down, and as he probes further, tentatively trying to poke his tongue in past Aomine’s lips, Aomine disengages for a second to breathe and slow down. Kagami’s breath quivers before he dives back in, easing back to what they were doing before, letting their tongues touch while they kiss and kiss and kiss, just a little bit.

Kagami breaks it off, panting, pupils blown wide. Aomine can see it when he starts to pull back, kissing him slower, reduced to small pecks on the lips. “We should stop,” Kagami says, breathlessly, and Aomine realizes Kagami’s getting too excited. He’s getting hard and is slowing down out of consideration. Careless boy, caught up in his passion again. “We should stop here...”

Aomine’s feeling— he’s out of breath and he's… well, his heart’s pounding for sure. That was… that was something.

 _No one can say for certain_ what _it is, but it’s sure something._

“Yeah,” he breathes back, shoulders lowering as Kagami moves back, still holding his face in his palms. He’s already starting to feel guilty and weird for what they just did, second-guessing himself and regretting his damn curiosity making him go that far. He’s already starting to get uncertain and insecure, a tight knot in his gut.

His dick is completely soft. Nothing happened. That should make him feel better. That should reassure him. But...

He’s being pulled in two directions. The part that is scared to go any further, _afraid he actually wants to,_ _afraid he really is gay, he doesn't want to be gay,_ and the other part that’s afraid that… that if he does really want to, what if he actually can’t. What if he can’t get it up for Kagami. What if he tries and wants to with all his heart and it just won't work. What if he can’t measure up.

That part is feeling just as panicked and sick over the fact that they tongue kissed and that’s just way too gay to write off, but also— also because his head is full of hot air and his body is thrumming with excitement, a whirl of _new, new, new, wow, I can’t believe you did that—_ and yet, his dick didn’t respond at all. It hasn’t even twitched.

“Yeah,” he agrees. _Yeah, let’s stop._ The self-loathing is really starting to get to him. His throat is aching a little, pinching up.

He should be glad. That _that_ didn’t happen. But instead it’s not a relief. He feels a twinge of inadequacy. He’s pushed himself this far when he was so scared and felt so gross, he's going this far for Kagami and throwing away his pride, he's putting it all on the line, he's letting himself do something that feels so depraved and deviant, only to find that it was all a waste. He can't even get being a deviant right. He came to the edge and can't get step _one_ of this right.

_He wishes it would have gotten hard, even if he would have felt wrong. At least then he would’ve known, once and for all. And he could stop hanging in the middle, foolishly reaching for both. Maybe then, if it had happened, maybe then Aomine could have let go of whatever he was hanging onto and hold Kagami with both hands._

No matter which side he takes, he fails. He can’t seem to hold onto his masculinity, watching it slip from his hands day by day no matter how tight he tries to hold it— and on the other hand, if he gives in, if he ventures into territory he knows he’s not supposed to tread, if he actually takes those risks, he always seems to pull back and chicken out. He can’t commit to either— either one he chooses, he… he’s a failure. He doesn’t even know what he wants anymore. It’s like he’s set himself up no matter what to just always, always let himself down. Let Kagami down.  
  


_Why— why are you turning into such a disappointment._  
  


And for a second he just wishes he was different. Better. More. Enough.

Kagami looks at Aomine, from eye to eye, and rubs his thumbs over his cheeks. Aomine loves when he holds his face. He feels like a cherished treasure. It soothes the ache, because Kagami looks like Aomine just gave him the best gift he never even asked for. He looks like he thinks Aomine is the best thing ever. Like he doesn’t even care that Aomine’s stuck in the middle and that he can’t seem to be happy with either side. Like he doesn’t care that everything’s too hard for Aomine, that every day is becoming a struggle again. Everything’s hard except his dick, but Kagami just doesn’t care.

 _I like you as you are. So don't change it—_ The look on Kagami’s face makes Aomine’s throat ache and his eyes burn.

 _“Fuck, I love you,”_ Kagami breathes. Those words sound so familiar. Aomine can’t help but smile.

Okay, maybe. Maybe he won’t change it. If Kagami says so. 


	5. Chapter 5

Aomine’s over at Kagami’s house.

Kagami’s dad sent a package full of snacks and clothes. There’s some toys and movies too. Kagami lets him try Coco Puffs cereal and Girl Scout Cookies and Pringles. The American Pringles come in a super long tube and taste like pizza. They played with some plastic popping discs painted like basketballs, sticking them to the tables and onto their arms and watching them pop up and fly across the room until they’re bored.

When they're tired and Kagami decides to start his chores, Aomine drapes himself over the couch the way he does most days after school. “You asleep?” Kagami sits down in the little open space by Aomine’s stomach and scratches between his shoulders a little. Aomine lets out a sleepy hum. Then Kagami scratches on his head, running his nails over his scalp, scattering through his short hair.

He thinks he melts away. “I’ll clean up for a bit then… You can nap till dinner, Daiki.” Aomine feels a pleased and embarrassed jolt, peeking an eye open, but Kagami’s swiping under his nose and looking away, and quickly gets up and moves to get busy tidying up.

You can’t just spring the first name on a guy and expect him to wait patiently. You can’t tease Aomine with some attention and not expect him to want some more. 

He busies himself with Kagami’s magazines, holding them open in front of his face and spying on Kagami over the top of them until he’s too bored of waiting. Then he passes another five minutes popping the stupid basketball popper and watching Kagami move around and dust and vacuum and tidy up his dirty laundry from the floor. And then he starts teasing and fucking with him because there’s nothing more fun, even if it gets Kagami riled. Any attention is good attention.

They’re bickering and he’s picking at Kagami about something dumb, teasing him for his hairy legs— and no one needs to mention the fact that Aomine’s noticing more and more of those things lately, oddly fascinated by them.

Amazingly, Kagami somehow jiu-jitsu’s his teasing and turns it back around on him, which, no, is absolutely not how this is supposed to work. What other choice does Aomine have but to jump on him when he doesn’t take it back.

“Ah! What the fuck!” Kagami yells when Aomine leaps up and grabs him, surprising him enough that he tackles him right to the floor. He wastes no time with his advantage and starts viciously tickling him in his armpits and in his neck. “Ack! Stop!” he squeaks, bursting out laughing and trying to roll away.

Adorable, he’s adorable when he’s laughing, high-pitched and sputtery, rasping and bubbling as he desperately sucks in air and writhes around. “Stop!” he manages to gasp out, “Ahaha—! Sto-haha! Stop!”

“Take back what you said about my pubes, or I won’t!” Aomine yells with a grin, tickling his sides and his stomach, struggling to keep him held down as he thrashes. He’s curling up, trying to keep his arms pinned to his sides so Aomine can’t get in.

“Stop,” he begs, out of breath from laughing, trying to get away. “Fuck, stop!”

“Take it back, then,” he demands, laughing himself as Kagami sucks in a breath, holding it in his red cheeks, brows trembling as he struggles not to laugh as he slaps back and avoids Aomine’s hands.

“No!” he shouts when Aomine pokes him and tickles him, making him quiver and twitch trying not to hold it in.

Aomine sure likes being the one in control, smirking, eyes twinkling gleefully. Kagami looks so funny right now. “Take back what the fuck you said, or I’m gonna’ make you, Kagami.”

“Fuck… you…” Kagami manages to exhale, completely out of breath. He must’ve had enough, because he grabs Aomine by the head and grapples him like a monkey and flings them across the room.

“Wah!” Aomine yells, laughing as they tumble, struggling against him and wrestling on the floor.

“Hah!” Kagami laughs smugly, managing to squish Aomine under him, and all he can do with no leverage is feebly kick and squirm. “Got you now.”

“Oh, you wish. Just wait, I’m gonna’ make you pee!” Aomine eeps out, flailing his body like a fish until he shifts Kagami’s stupid weight enough to crawl to freedom, or at least enough to turn over and grab him.

Kagami gets him in a headlock and Aomine’s twisting his leg back and pulling on his leg hairs until he squeals, but he’s laughing like he’s never had so much fun. Aomine loves to hear him laughing like that. He sounds so dumb and so cute—

Kagami’s got the disadvantage of being winded from getting tickle-attacked earlier, so his energy gets worn down quicker and after a lot of stupid contorted struggling and wild kicking, Aomine gets the upper hand, sitting on him and pinning him on back, both wrists held to the floor. He can’t get away—

Heaving for breath, hair sweaty, Kagami just lays there, too tired to do anything but squirm a little and then just gasp like a beached fish. Aomine grins triumphantly. “Hah. What do you say to that?”

Kagami doesn’t say anything, and his gasping stops suddenly, his breath going still. Aomine's suddenly become very aware of their position.

 _He’s hard,_ Aomine notices, and as soon as he notices that, he realizes that he can feel it getting harder, swelling up between them to what must be full size. Kagami’s going very, very red, laying absolutely still.

Kagami’s hard. 

_‘I’m hard_ ,’ he realizes.

Maybe it’s because it’s a weird moment and the blood has already rushed to his head, but there’s no mistaking it. Aomine just sits there and stares down at Kagami, who’s staring back, absolutely mortified.

His mouth’s gone dry. His throat is a desert. He can’t move. Can’t breathe. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t say anything, he just… He just sits there. _He’s actually hard, it’s not going away—_ Kagami eventually clears his throat and squirms, but Aomine doesn’t even blink, just stares, can’t move as he feels Kagami’s erection jump between them, twinging and poking him. 

Kagami’s trying to push his hips down, away from Aomine’s lap, but all it does is make Kagami grit his teeth, a tiny little noise stuttering to a halt in his throat. 

“Sorry,” he wrenches out. “Sorry, Aomine…” He turns his head to the side and looks away. 

“Ahh, get off,” Kagami groans, embarrassed, half-heartedly squirming his wrists under Aomine’s clammy grip. “It’s okay… I know it bothers you. Let’s just stop...”

Aomine knows that Hitoshi’s tried to do things when Kagami didn’t want to. He’d heard him pressuring Kagami and making him feel guilty. He’d seen it happen at the party. Hitoshi pressured Kagami, and Kagami’s never ever going to push Aomine like that. He can’t seem to help getting turned on, but he always, always stops when Aomine hesitates. Always goes out of his way to tell him he’s not mad… it’s okay, he’s not going to rush him. Ignore it. Ignore it—

He’ll let Aomine back down a hundred times and never blame him. He’ll let Aomine run away as many times as he wants to. He isn’t ever going to make Aomine do the hard part if he doesn’t want to, he’s never going to make him think about what he hates about himself, he’s never going to make him figure things out. He’s there whether Aomine is confused or not, whether he’s scared or not, he’s there patiently waiting, loving him whatever he does.

Aomine’s the only one holding himself back. And maybe what he’s been waiting for is a definitive sign. Something he can’t deny even to himself, no threads left to hang onto. Something to push him across the finish line. A reason to go for it— 

He can deny it if he has to cheat to make it happen. If all he feels in his heart when he thinks of Kagami is overwhelming love and affection. If it’s not the same as Mai-chan. He can deny it because he knows what it should feel like. He can deny it because it doesn’t happen.

_Until he can’t. Until it does happen. Until Kagami’s lying there beneath him holding perfectly still, heart pounding between them like the wild rhythm of a sputtering firecracker, lips wet and trembling and dick hard between them, but he’s waiting so patiently, holding himself back—_

Aomine can deny it because it just doesn’t work. Guys just don’t do it for him. Even if it’s Kagami. He can deny it all he wants.

_Until he's hard too._

_Suddenly, out of nowhere. When it had been such a struggle on his own, alone with his thoughts. When it wouldn’t work before, now it’s there all of a sudden. Almost as if to tease him, oh, thought I wouldn’t pop up unexpectedly, did you? Cute._

_Psyche— You mad?_

_Congratulations_ — _I’m up, happy now—?_

And what is he feeling now. Is he happy now. He doesn’t know. He’s so surprised that he’s still just sitting there while Kagami stutters and tries to make him get up. Aomine thinks he’s too scared to breathe. So scared that he isn’t even shaking.

This does seem to be undeniable confirmation. And now that it’s happened, does this mean he really can’t go back. To normal life with a normal dick that only got normal boners over girls. He’s not gay. He’s really not. So this shouldn’t be happening. He shouldn’t have wanted it to happen.

All he can think is that he didn’t see it coming at all. Because it’s not like Mai-chan. He was waiting for looking at Kagami to feel like it does to look at Mai-chan, but it didn’t happen that way. It doesn’t feel the way he thought it was supposed to feel at all.

Kagami looks the same. Flushed, loveable face twisted with embarrassment. The person Aomine likes so much that he can’t contain it within him sometimes. Laying underneath him, breath rushing, heart pounding with adrenaline after some vigorous wrestling, excitement blazing like a wildfire.

His heart’s popping around. A high fluttery feeling at the top of his stomach. It doesn’t feel like Mai-chan. It feels like what he felt when he first fell for Kagami. The nervous excitement of a crush. An intense swoop through his gut.

Kagami clears his throat. “I’m not gonna’ do anything you don't want...”

And all Aomine can think, staring down at him, a frustrating red oyster that Aomine’s put a lot of work into opening up, ready to snap shut yet again. _He’ll be damned—_

All he can think is— _I’m actually hard. I actually got turned on._

  
  


_I didn’t think I could._

  
  


Aomine leans down and kisses him, he’s still talking but Aomine covers his mouth with his own, body prickling with terror and excitement. It’s a humongous rush, a swoop of dread and trepidation and exhilaration as he pushes across the line. Kagami’s breath stutters to a halt as Aomine kisses him harder than he ever has, smashing their faces together and holding on tight to his wrists. 

He can’t go back. He’s not going back.

Kagami lays there like he can’t believe it, mouth slack as Aomine keeps kissing him, keeps hanging onto him, body wound tighter than a spring. He's so stiff with surprise. He honestly had never expected Aomine to make a move, had he. A shuddery gasp floats out of his mouth, lips parting, and Aomine licks into his mouth, gut swooping.

Kagami finally starts kissing back, tongue moving slowly against his, like he thinks Aomine will back off any second now. He's so tentative and careful, like he thinks if he reciprocates, Aomine will come to his senses and stop. Honestly, Aomine’s not sure he won’t. He lets go of Kagami’s hands and grabs his face, gripping it hard and sealing their lips together, running his tongue around Kagami’s. _Hurry— keep going before it goes away..._

Kagami lets out a helpless surprised noise into his mouth, vibrating through his bones, and the hair stands up on Aomine’s neck. A rush of blood surges down. _Whoa—_

He just keeps laying there underneath him even though Aomine’s released his arms, like he doesn’t dare put them around him, like he doesn’t dare believe this is happening. He lays there helplessly and lets Aomine do it, lets Aomine kiss him with all the passion he can muster.

Aomine digs his hands into Kagami’s hair and grips it by the roots, and Kagami’s whole body shudders, he moans out into his mouth, surprised and loud and unrestrained, and Aomine’s fluttery nervous gut swoops and dives, his hair’s standing on end, his skin feels like it’s on fire.

The feeling stays there. It’s not going away. He’s still hard, and he’s getting harder. His heart is fucking racing. This is nothing like it ever was with a magazine, boring self-pleasure, and now he feels fucking stupid to have ever assumed it would—

He’s already crossed the line so why not dive off the cliff. He’s already gone this far. He didn’t know he could.

He presses his body down onto Kagami’s and Kagami yelps, arms flying off the floor and grabbing him, fingers digging in desperately. His knees had jumped up, jostling Aomine, and he moans out in surprise and relief into Aomine's mouth. Aomine’s whole skeleton feels like it’s vibrating, tingling, pleasure spreading through his whole body in a wave. Their lips come apart, connected by a sparkling strand of saliva. 

Kagami looks at him through hazy eyes, breath trembling. He’s laying completely still, waiting, flushed and surprised.

_I’m not going back. I’m never coming back._

He cages Kagami’s face in his hands and drops his forehead onto his, looking into his eyes. He can feel Kagami’s erection next to his. Kagami doesn’t blink, not looking away for a second. It’s not going away.

Aomine throws his body onto Kagami, clumsy and stupid, _is this what you want—? Is this what I want—?_ Kagami’s erection is pressing into his stomach, pushing into his own hard-on. Kagami meets him this time, grinding together with him, the friction crippling him. He shifts his legs down a bit at a time until he’s laying on top of him, sliding his arms up under Kagami’s to hold him tight. Kagami hugs him around the shoulders, holding him there, sweaty cheek pressed against the side of Aomine’s face as he nestles his head into his neck, hiding his eyes in Kagami’s shoulder.

He lays on top of Kagami and rocks down into him, clumsy and stupid, no finesse. Kagami’s legs fall apart, hips pushing up to meet his, the friction is just, _oh god—_ Kagami gasps and seizes up, hugging him against him, and shifts his legs apart a little further. Aomine’s own leg drops into the space, and he rests his hips against the girth of Kagami’s thigh, fitting between there perfectly. They mold together like two pieces made to slot, perfectly sized for one another. He hadn’t thought they would fit. 

Kagami’s so loud. He makes so much noise. He moans and whimpers practically every time he breathes, panting right into Aomine’s ear. His head is tingling, his hair standing up, jets of lightning shooting down his back every time Kagami’s lips brush his ear, an unrestrained gasp and moan vibrating through his face and straight to his dick. He’s so loud and it’s making Aomine pant and tremble, it’s making him cling on and gasp for breath, quiet little hot puffs of breath into the space next to Kagami’s head.

They get a rhythm going, humping each other’s legs on the floor, it feels… it feels like heaven. He doesn't know why it never crossed his mind that it would feel good. He doesn't know why he thought he would hate this. He hugs onto Kagami and closes his eyes and stimulates himself on Kagami’s thick firm thigh, rubbing and grinding perfectly up against his erection. Kagami turns his head, panting loudly in his ear, nudging his face, and Aomine picks his head up and kisses him.

Kagami’s hands come up and pet his hair, hips moving slower, a rolling wave motion that makes Aomine slowly exhale, shuddering and melting away. Kagami’s hands cup his face as they kiss, thumbs rubbing under his eyes.

The thrill of kissing. Of going this far. It feels really good. It’s amazing. It feels better than touching himself. Starting had felt impossible, but now that he has, he doesn’t ever want to stop.

They stay like that for who knows how long, maybe hours have passed, maybe just minutes. Rutting his hips back and forth on Kagami’s leg, a direct line to the pleasure center in his brain. Kagami’s huffing and gasping out, another long moan that makes Aomine’s whole body shake.

They part for a second. Aomine holds himself up on his hands, wet lips brushing Kagami’s as he breathes onto them. Kagami’s cheeks are like two rosy peaches, his ears are bright pink. His hair is pushed back off his forehead, and his lower lip is shiny, a sparkling diamond twinkling up at him. His eyes are warm, seeking out his so openly, so eagerly, inquisitive. He looks so happy, so ruffled up. Aomine… fuck, he just loves him. He loves everything about him. He’s perfect right now.

Leaning in and pecking him, noses bumping, Kagami’s body shakes with a laugh. Aomine feels his own mouth relax, curling up. Kagami laughs a little more, eyes shutting with a blinding grin. Aomine just looks at him there beneath him— He loves him.  
  


_I’m not going back._

Kagami’s too smiley to kiss him back, but he’s trying. They haven’t said anything since they started. “Wow,” Kagami breathes out dazedly, panting and running a hand across Aomine’s face, and Aomine’s heart skips.

A puff of air squeezes out of Aomine’s lungs. Ah fuck.

The tension breaks when he starts laughing even more, maybe a nervous reaction. He just looks so silly and loveable. He’s so perfect in that moment that Aomine can’t help himself. He grabs Kagami and rolls, wrangling him and thumping them across the floor until they’re sprawled out in a stupid position, but neither will let go.

Aomine snorts, twisted backwards, and that makes Kagami lose it, laughter ringing out, dancing through the room and through Aomine’s heart. This fucking guy.

They end up by the couch, wrestled out and holding onto each other, laying on the floor. Kagami’s laying on his back, hair ruffled up on one side. His cheeks are so pink. He looks like he wouldn’t rather be anywhere than here, on the floor with Aomine leaning over him.

For a second, Aomine doesn’t know how to lean in and kiss him again. Now that they’ve stopped even for a moment, he doesn’t know how to start again. If he takes this any farther, they’re going to finish, aren’t they. He watches Kagami’s smile falter, brow quivering with uncertainty, and he slowly sits up, pulling his knees in. Aomine drops his eyes, picking at a loose thread on the rug and swallowing hard.

He knows Kagami won't reject him, but it still feels so awkward. He leans in, a little at a time, until he can rest his brow on Kagami’s shoulder and they’re chest to chest, his hands clutching the backs of Kagami’s shoulders. Kagami’s arms come around him, enveloping him, and Aomine exhales. He scoots in until they meet, legs open and knees hooked over Kagami’s hips, Kagami’s legs around his own. He feels so exposed like this with his legs spread, groin against Kagami’s, slotted together like a mirrored image.

“Aah,” Kagami moans out, tremulous and whispery, face resting against the side of Aomine’s neck as they start to move together again. All he needed was a push, the rush blazing back in an instant, making him hold on and thrust into Kagami.

He would’ve had a thought for his stamina by now, because it’s not going down and just keeps getting harder, but it’s surprisingly difficult to get himself there like this. He can hear Kagami getting closer, voice getting higher, but Aomine’s been stuck at the plateau. Maybe it’s nerves.

“Daiki,” Kagami moans out as they grind together, straight into Aomine’s ear. “Daiki, he gasps, and Aomine’s whole body shudders and jolts and he knows right away that it’s going to work, he’s definitely going to come— 

Kagami’s getting close, starting to breathe harder, moans going higher and more strained, and finally he sits up sharply, bringing them nose to nose, breathing onto each other’s lips. Aomine’s a raw nerve, breath shallow and hands trembling. Kagami’s kissing him gently and hugging him around the small of his back as he pulls the box of tissues on the coffee table closer. God— god, it’s happening.

Kagami takes a fistful and adjusts his hips, reaching down between them where he can’t see and moves so he can fit his hand down into his pants. Fuck, oh fuck— Aomine’s face is pressed against the side of Kagami’s, chin resting on his shoulder, and he can hear his stuttered breath, he can feel his body start to jiggle as he gets himself in hand. Aomine holds rigid in his grasp, Kagami’s arm gripping his back. He sits there and swallows down a rush of saliva as he listens to Kagami finishing himself. He can see his arm jerking back and forth in his periphery as he touches himself. He can see Kagami’s pink ear and hear his little pants of air puffing from his mouth between each dazed moan. 

Aomine grips the back of Kagami's shirt and puts his own hand down, mind a whirl of adrenaline. His fingers meet a wet mess of precum, his underwear is fucking soaked. He can feel Kagami’s quick rhythm of stroking, knuckles bumping against his— he’s pulled it out of his pants, it’s right there between them in Kagami’s fist, _fuck, fuck—_

“Ahh, Daiki,” Kagami groans when Aomine starts, a hot aroused grunt, and Aomine’s spurred on. He starts masturbating, fist slapping back and forth in his pants, wet and squelching. Fuck, he’s almost there already. It’s going to work, it’s going to work, he’s going to cum— The pleasure’s building higher and higher, a sharp and almost painful crest, he can’t see, he can’t focus on anything but beating off, Kagami’s touching himself right in his arms, _he’s_ _almost—_

Kagami starts falling apart, one long continuous moan, stuttering from one breath to another. He cums, finally falling still, body seizing and tightening around Aomine, gripping him in so tight Aomine can’t breathe, “Da— Dai…” Kagami pants out, grip halting, hips twitching, teeth gritting on a groan that puts Aomine over the edge.

The euphoria that spreads through him as his orgasm hits is nothing like the jerk-off sessions he has in his room before bed, about to fall asleep, heart beat slow, breath coming lazily. His heart is racing so hard he can hear it thundering in his ears, he’s lightheaded and shaking, and when he reaches the climax it crashes through him hard, rips through his body like a lightning strike, one, twice, three-four-five convulsions, harsh strikes of blinding pleasure.

Kagami sags all at once like a balloon with the air rushing out, panting like he just ran a marathon. Aomine just lays there and breathes, letting his hand relax on his dick, hand wet with cum. He feels slow and stupid. He thinks he just went to heaven for a second.

Kagami keeps hugging him for a minute, winded, but as the aftershocks start to fade and Aomine gets soft and cold, the adrenaline that was making him brave filters out slowly and his gut clenches up.

He doesn’t know what to feel. Kagami flinches as he seems to snap back to reality too, tensing somewhat. It’s awkward afterwards. Aomine doesn't know what to say. Doesn’t know what he feels. He might be a little ashamed. He feels so daring. He did something he wasn't supposed to. He can’t believe they just did that. He doesn't know what just happened…

Kagami seems uncertain, wary of his silence. He’s sitting back, looking to him for a reaction. Aomine lets out a slow breath through his nose and they pull away from each other, sitting side by side.

Aomine sits back against the couch trying to process it. Kagami sits next to him, legs stretched out. He’s fidgeting with his hands, folding them on his middle and then fiddling with his shirt. Man, this is awkward. It feels like everything’s changed.

“Uhh… So that happened,” Aomine mumbles. Kagami sags with relief, a laugh escaping. Aomine’s still feeling a little weird, waiting for panic and disgust to bowl through him, feeling like he’s just barely holding it back, but it doesn’t come. Maybe he’s too wrung out and feeling too good to care yet.

Kagami’s smiling, relieved, and Aomine leans in to kiss him, which makes Kagami sigh and kiss him back, cupping his head in his hands. _I won’t be back._

They part and Aomine stretches out his legs, laying his head back against the couch with his eyes shut, enjoying the buzz, every muscle spent and released. Kagami lets out a long breath, settled next to him.

“For a guy who reads so much porn, you’re surprisingly pure, you know,” he says softly, breaking the silence.

Aomine opens an eye. Kagami’s smiling teasingly. “Shut up Kagami, it’s different if it’s gay.”

“Oh my god, whatever Aomine,” he groans, snickering.

“Look, I can’t ungay myself once I’ve been gayed. Show some consideration.”

“Is that what’s been holding you up?” Kagami wonders. _“The gayening?”_ he prods, but Aomine doesn’t rise to it. He’s feeling too good to argue.

“It’s different,” he sighs, then lets out a yawn, settling his head back on his arms. He doesn’t feel so bad after all.

“... Good different?” Kagami mumbles, and Aomine opens his eyes. He’s leaning on the couch right next to him, looking into his face, eyes so soft and vulnerable.

Aomine sighs, heart swelling and aching. “Yeah,” he breathes, quirking his lip. “So be patient and don’t gay me till I’m ready.” Kagami’s face softens even more, warming with devotion.

“I’ll be patient as long as you want,” he promises breathily, eyes sparkling like a thousand stars.

He looks at Aomine and seems to thrum with energy, then can’t bear it and leans down and kisses him. Aomine hums into it and cuddles in with him to hug and lay together and rest.

Kagami must be feeling romantic, because he tries to hold hands with him. Aomine lets him play with his fingertips and then lace their hands, content and sleepy.

Then he feels a little bit of stickiness between Kagami’s fingers. 

“AW!” he yelps, whipping his hand away, and Kagami retracts his own sheepishly.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Don’t _OH_ me, Kagami! Wipe that shit! _God!”_ Aomine shakes his hand out and Kagami scowls.

He glares at him for a minute and then seems to make his mind up, because he lunges at him out of nowhere. Aomine fights him as Kagami tries to pin him, grabbing for his shirt. “Oh, I’ll wipe it! Hold still, fuckface.”

Aomine goes feral, because this is a black T-shirt, and the roughhousing gets kind of out of control. The couch gets knocked over.

They fight until they’re out of breath and they’re both awake and energized again, and Aomine thinks maybe the panic isn’t going to come. Maybe it doesn’t all change just like that. 

Actually, he kind of wants to play basketball.

“One on one?” he floats when they grow bored horsing around. Kagami’s eyes warm and melt, smiling right along with his mouth.

“You know it.”

"Great….. Now lemme borrow an underwear."

"Shit, yeah, I need a shower first…."

  
  
  
  


He’s not gay. 

It’s getting harder to tell himself that as time goes on, especially considering. Well.

More and more strikes are racking up against him, last weekend being the biggest, but Aomine knows he’s not gay. He can feel inside himself that he’s not. He’s not attracted to guys. He’s not in denial about it. Literally, he’s not _._

It had never been on his radar before he’d fallen for Kagami, and it doesn’t feel any different now. He has no interest in guys at all. Kagami’s a guy, and Aomine fell for him— but does that count if Kagami’s different and unlike anyone else. Does it count when it wouldn’t have happened if it were any other guy in the world. Maybe that’s part of why this has all been so confusing and hard. Kagami’s a special case. He doesn’t fit in with the rest of what Aomine knows about himself. He’s out of place and can’t be explained away easily.

Of course, when he’s with Kagami and they kiss, there’s certainly interest there. He wouldn’t do it if he wasn’t interested— and well… what happened between them last weekend, there’s really no denying that there’s an element of excitement and passion too.

 _He hadn’t thought he could get like that. He hadn’t thought that feeling would come. Hadn’t even known it would_ feel _like that. Maybe that had held him back in some ways. Because the minute after realizing he could actually do it if he wanted, he just kind of— went for it._

He can get excited if he wants to, if he and Kagami get into it and make out. His body reacts when manually stimulated if he’s with Kagami. He can get off with him there… But otherwise, he’s just not affected by the male body. 

Honestly… Kagami’s doesn’t turn him on either. Looking at him and thinking about him still doesn’t do anything. He thinks it was the whole atmosphere, it was the wrestling, it was the energy or something. Gaaah, it’s so hard to explain. Anyway, point was, dudes don’t turn him on, and even though he can get turned on with Kagami, it’s not his _dudeness_ that _…_ that does it. 

So he isn’t gay. . . .  
  


_Gaaah, whatever._

Aomine groans and gets off his bed to kick his door shut. Then glares at the bed. Glares at his desk. Throws himself on the bed and rolls onto his back, arms shoved behind his head.

His thoughts inevitably wander to Kagami, and he scrolls on his phone and sends him a text to see what he’s up to. _I’m bored— make me teriyaki beef._ He’s probably cooking at this time. Kagami texts back after a minute or so and Aomine’s lip quirks. 

_Making gyoza tonight. When you come over I’ll unfreeze some._

_Yummy—_ Aomine sends back.

_Can’t type right now, my hands have food on them. Stay the weekend?_

Aomine sighs, closing his eyes and bonking his phone to his forehead for a second. _Sure,_ he answers, then lets his arms flop down.

He figures what happened at Kagami’s house is probably going to happen again. They never go back after they stretch the boundaries. They’ve never done anything sexual together before and after crossing a line like that, into completely new territory, it’s only going to progress further and further, isn’t it. They’re going to keep going. Is he actually willing to do more than what they just did…?

Aomine lays on his bed, sighing when he thinks of it. Kagami gasping and hugging him. It’s going to happen again. Maybe next time instead of getting off together, they’re going to touch each other, get _each other_ off. Kagami said he would be patient, and what they did really wasn’t so bad. It was great in fact, despite all the weird shit he felt afterward, but if they’re going to do more than that, Aomine doesn’t know if he’s ready…   
  
He still doesn’t get hard just thinking about Kagami. If Kagami were to jerk him off, would he get hard?... It probably doesn’t feel materially different from jerking it himself, so Kagami doing it will feel good. He’ll probably be able to cum just from the physical sensation. He’s just afraid. What if he goes soft halfway through or something, or what if he can stay hard, but not cum? What would Kagami say…

Well whatever. The first time they did it, he was so overtaken by a haze of excitement that it hadn’t been a problem to get there. Kagami touching him would be awesome, who’s he kidding, even if it’ll be really, really embarrassing…

Never mind that side of it. What about him. He’ll be touching Kagami back, won’t he— What is it like, touching another guy’s dick?... He wonders what Kagami’s looks like. He should remember the feel of it from when they’d grinded together, but nothing about the size or shape had jumped out as notable. He never put his hand on the bump and felt it, so he can’t make an estimation. He’s probably average, like him...

He lays there squirming a little, then looks down his chest to the ties of his sweats. After some consideration, he pushes the front down and takes his dick out, stroking it half-heartedly.

_‘Hm…’_

Aomine sits up and palms it for a minute. _‘Do I have a measuring tape in my desk?’_

Hitching his pants up, he rummages through his desk drawers until he eventually finds a ruler from elementary school. Sitting down on the edge of his bed, he puts it up to the side of his dick.

_Oh… that’s not what I thought…_

He grunts in dissatisfaction, brow furrowing.  
  
  


_Well, the ruler’s kinda cold… Maybe a little more—  
  
  
_

He glances at his closed bedroom door and then lays down on his back and jerks it a little until it perks up some more. Then he holds up the ruler again. His dick has a curve to it when it’s hard, so this ruler is selling him short, that’s it. A cloth measuring tape would be better, but this is what he has and he’s not gross enough to go through his mom’s sewing box for this.

He tries forcing it to bend straight to measure that extra bit of length, but it sort of hurts to do that, so he leaves it.  
  


_‘About fourteen centimeters…’_

  
Aomine frowns at it unhappily.  
  
  
  


Well… He’s still a teenager. He probably still has some growing to do. Maybe. 

  
  
  


He thinks about it on and off for a couple days, and by the time he and Kagami hang next for gyoza night, it comes back in a rush, and Aomine gets what Kagami meant about it being hard to focus on basketball. 

They’re playing, and it’s getting warmer out, enough so that Kagami’s sweating when he plays. Aomine’s still trouncing him, but he’s had a few close calls when he starts getting distracted. He keeps scrutinizing Kagami and his… crotch situation. 

He’s just curious. He’s just wondering about it. The more he thinks about this whole thing the more he realizes that when they go further, he’s going to have to hold Kagami’s dick at some point, isn’t he. He wonders what it looks like. He should be able to remember from all the times they’d showered at the gym… _before_ everything— but he can’t. He hadn’t thought to take more than a glance back then. There must not have been anything notable about it that had stuck out in his memory.

But now it’s got him wondering. What if Kagami got cut and it looks gross without the skin, like a peeled fruit or an alien or something. What if it looks too weird and scary to hold. What if _Aomine’s_ looks like an alien. Maybe Kagami won’t want to touch it...

Or what if it’s crazy big— For all Aomine had gotten freaked out when Kagami got a boner on the court those couple times, after noticing it he’d been really focused on _not_ looking at it, and he can’t say what size it was. Maybe it’s big. How does he play basketball with it. Aomine just wears briefs and lets it lay in front all snug and secured but he knows Kagami wears boxer briefs. Does he fold it to the side or what.

Then a thought comes to him that truly disturbs him.

 _What if it’s bigger than his?_

_Shit—_

“C’mon Aomine, give it your all or don’t play, this is lame,” Kagami scolds, scowling. “Careful or I’m gonna’ beat you.”

Aomine shakes himself. “Oh like fuck.”

He’s focusing on the game, he really is, he’s just having a dick crisis. He doesn’t think he wants to see it. He doesn’t think he’s ready. But he’s really curious. He just can’t seem to stop looking and trying to guess…

“What’s on your mind anyways,” Kagami accuses. “... And what do you keep looking at?!” 

Ah shit. Aomine looks away, scowling. “I’m not looking at _dick._ What the fuck are _you_ looking at.” Okay, so that was an unfortunate slip of the tongue. Good thing Kagami’s an airhead.

“Whatever, take me seriously, you’re pissing me off.”

“Fine then,” Aomine mutters, smirking as he lowers himself, arms out. “Get ready for me, hot-shot.” 

Kagami narrows his eyes and hunkers down, dribbling the ball tight to his body, then rushes past him. Aomine’s on him like a shadow, overtaking him in a second, blocking him at the net. He stays on him, presses him hard. 

Panting, bodies tight and tense, sweating, Kagami’s breath close enough to hit his face, it reminds him of the afternoon on the floor by the couch. Maybe he gets what he means when he says _I am focused on the game._

_But you’re my boyfriend._

He’s so drawn into Kagami’s energy, matching him breath for breath, chasing him up and down the court, stealing the ball and running, Kagami marking him and jumping to stop his shots— Kagami’s intense focus into his as he fights to break past him, dribbling low, dark blazing eyes, maybe he gets it. 

_I’m focused on you too._

_Of course I would be._

  
Kagami seems to have noticed the look on his face, because he’s slowed down, dribbling the ball with red cheeks. Aomine purses his lips, feeling kind of embarrassed himself to have been caught out. He doesn’t know what’s happening, he feels so… so breathless all of a sudden.

“O- Oh... Ah…” Kagami’s surprised. Gobsmacked, even. Floundering like a fish. Aomine keeps his mouth shut, waits to see what he’ll say.

Kagami scuffs his foot and lets the ball bounce back up into his hands and just palms it, holding it there. He looks windswept. Electrified. “What,” he murmurs almost shyly. Glancing around, he whispers, “... Now?”

“Oh my god, what? No!” Aomine hisses, mortified. “Just—! I was just thinking you looked cool just then. Or— Ugh, whatever!”

If Aomine weren’t such a hot-and-cold chicken, he’d flirt with Kagami openly more often, because when the right mood strikes and Aomine isn’t smug and cocky about it, instead of getting Kagami annoyed, it gets him flustered. His ears are glowing and he’s fumbling with the ball like an idiot, just hearing Aomine tacitly admit that he was just checking him out. 

Why’s he so surprised about it. It’s not like Kagami is ugly. He’s good looking. Tons of older girls like him, and apparently guys do too.

_But Aomine’s different. He’s different._

  
“.... That’s playing dirty,” Kagami finally mutters.

“Who’s dirty,” Aomine grumbles.

“Well you…” Kagami reddens a bit more, then grimaces and looks away. He scuffs his toe some more. “Fuck, Aomine, don’t look at me like that...”

“Aw geez, get your mind out of the gutter, pervert.”

“Shut up! It’s your fault! And you don’t get to call anyone a pervert!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, let’s take a break… Till you can control yourself,” he teases, even though he’s feeling like a jar full of steam himself.

“Shut _up,”_ Kagami yells, sheepishly, sulking as he shuffles after him with drooping shoulders to the patch of grass outside the street court fence. Aomine plops down in the shade with a groan, startling a frog out of a bush. It leaps away onto the sunny court, chirping.

“Oh hey, it’s the toad!” Kagami laughs a little as he sits down gingerly, knees apart. Aomine looks over at him with a frown. “Remember?”

“... What toad?”

“From last year, remember?” He does remember now, it comes rushing back, an afternoon of sweet heartache, the first day he flirted with Kagami, out of reach. The first day he thought to himself, it’s so easy to be like this with him, it’s so easy to love him and play with him, wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could be like this all the time. He can’t believe so much time has passed already.

Kagami’s laughing, nose crinkled up. “Wouldn’t that be funny if it was the same toad?” 

“That’s a frog,” Aomine hears himself say, mind somewhere else. He looks up at Kagami, still sitting there smiling. “... You remembered that?”

“Course I do.” Aomine’s heart twinges and flutters. Fuck, whenever he gets used to dating Kagami, he’s slammed with a reminder of how much he loves him.“Shoulda’ kept him. Coulda’ been friends with Cheep-Cheep.”

“A toad’s a lot harder to take care of than a fish,” Aomine says at last, when he’s done staring at Kagami, just staring and drinking him in, smiling and perfect.

“Yeah, you’re probably right… I’m already worried about how I’m gonna get Cheep-Cheep home.”

“Home?” Aomine frowns. 

“To California. Probably can’t survive the plane trip, right?”

“No, I meant—” Aomine shakes his head, brow furrowing. “You didn’t say you were going to California... You’re visiting your dad? When are you going?”

“No, for school, idiot! UCLA ring a bell? C'mon, how many times have I said this.” Lips parting, Aomine stares at him, the thought striking him in the heart and sinking it through him all the way down to his feet.  
  


_What?....... What...  
  
_

He’s never been very proactive about thinking ahead. He kind of just drifts along from one thing to the next and does whatever. He hadn’t thought about what Kagami was doing for college and it seems obvious now. He’s always talking about going into the NBA, they’d made a stupid promise together to go pro but Aomine hadn’t actually put it together all the way. Kagami’s going to college back in America. Why didn't he expect this... Why didn't he realize...

All this time, this last year, the sand’s been running out of the timer. Kagami’s going back home. And Aomine—

“The dorm’s not a problem, my dad’s got an apartment ready and we can have Cheep-Cheep in there— if he can make the trip. That’s pretty rough on a little fish, what do you think? I guess he’s not so little now, you might be right that I’m overfeeding him...”

Kagami keeps going on about it, excited and driven as always, oblivious to Aomine’s realization. He feels… well…. _devastated_. He feels like the last year went by in a blur and now it’s almost over. He feels like he just got with Kagami. Just finally got to be with him, and now that’s going to be taken away. He doesn’t want it to be over. He doesn’t want to say goodbye yet. This can’t be. Why didn’t he savor that time more. Why did he blink his eyes—

They’re just kids. How can it already be time to let go… for good?

“Well just leave him with me then and I’ll take care of him,” Aomine hears himself say, managing not to let his mood show through too much. He doesn’t want to think about it. Looking at that fish tank in his room while Kagami’s on the other side of the world, gone forever.

Really, didn’t he already know. Didn’t he know in the back of his mind that this would happen someday? He had to know it would happen eventually… They’re almost grown up. It’s time to go. Everything he knows is going to change.

He’s come a long way. He’s a selfish, jealous person but he’s come a long way. He doesn’t want Kagami to go, he feels panicked and heartbroken just thinking about it, but he can’t… he can’t ask him to stay. He can’t take that excited look off his face and ask him to dream smaller. He can’t do it. He loves Kagami and wants to be with him as long as he can, but it’s not worth the pain he'd cause Kagami by being selfish… Convincing Kagami to stay in Tokyo isn’t worth seeing him sad and stifled.

“Nah, how can I leave Cheep-Cheep with you. We’re gonna’ be together,” Kagami says cluelessly, laughing at him a little. 

Aomine’s throat tightens in bitterness. He’ll stay together with the fish. He’ll go out of his way to keep the fish with him and take it overseas.

_‘But me. What about me?........’_

Kagami hasn’t seemed put out in the slightest over the past months. He hasn’t mentioned anything about it. Hasn’t said _I’m gonna’ miss you_ or _I’ll call every day_ or anything. And Aomine’s more than a fish, isn’t he?...

He knows Kagami’s industrious and independent, knows he’s brave for a teenager, able to live alone and take care of himself without any family in the country. Aomine can’t imagine being like that, not having Mom and Dad there to fall back on. But Kagami’s used to it, isn’t he. It’s probably easy for him to pick up and move. Kagami adapts to change so well, he rolls with it. He’s so free…

But Aomine doesn’t want things to change. He wants so badly to hang on. To turn back the clock. He wants this to last a little longer.

It must be an inevitable fact of life. Summer turns into autumn and the cicadas that had once been so loud, screaming for what felt like weeks and weeks, suddenly the noise dies out without you having noticed. The cherry blossoms wilt and fall so quickly. Shoes you try to keep nice eventually crease. You were just in elementary school a little while ago and now it’s time to leave home for university.

Is that what living a life is—? You become like a parent to an infant that you know will never stay small. Everything you treasure changes before your eyes, too slowly to notice in the moment if you try to focus and really appreciate it, but when you look back you realize it’s gone by much too fast. No matter how much you try to stay in the present and pay attention, you don’t notice until it’s already gotten away from you. And you just have to keep chasing.

“Wanna’ play a little more?” Kagami clears his throat, lips pursed. His shoulders are broader than Aomine remembers suddenly, hair dappled red by the sun through the leaves. He doesn’t look like a kid anymore. When did that even happen. 

“I’m… uh… _better_ now, so.”

“Pff,” Aomine snorts, lip quirking the tiniest bit. “Yeah.”

“Alright!”  
  
  


_I’ll chase you. One last time, like I did before. I’ll chase you until you get away._   
  


_I’d catch you, if I could only run faster._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is taking so long, thank you for your patience.

Aomine’s staying at Kagami’s for the weekend.

He’s feeling slightly apprehensive about it. Nervousness and excitement are warring in his guts. He wonders if they’re going to do anything. They probably are. They always seem to now when he comes over. Now that they've started, they don't stop, just as Aomine had worried about. Now that the door's open, it can't be shut... which in some ways, isn't a bad thing, because it's not like he's not enjoying himself. It's just that it feels like every time they hang out now, _something happens_. Kagami seems to have come to expect it even. They’ll start off doing what they always do, eating dinner, taking a bath, watching TV, but then when they start to kiss— 

Aomine groans. How did he let this get so far off the rails. This whole thing is getting out of control. He’s not gay, he knows he’s not. And if he’s not, then he shouldn’t be doing any of this, should he. But he can’t seem to stop. Part of it might be because he always ends up going too far no matter how scared he is. Another part might be the hourglass suddenly looming above him, days of spring and summer drumming down on his head like sand running out till the boy he loves flies away. Another part might’ve always been inside him no matter how much he denies it.  


_ And another part. A part that's just Kagami down in the zone with him. Floating in blackness. He can’t see him but he can feel him there. Aomine can’t seem to wake up. Can’t open his eyes. Can’t seem to stop.  _

_ What’s that saying. About being in too deep?  
  
_

He’s been in over his head since the second he stepped onto the court at the Winter Cup.

  
  


They’ve gotten off together a couple times now. Repeated what they did the first time they went that far. On the floor, pants pulled open just enough, scooted in close and kissing blindly until they orgasm. They’ve done it a couple more times… 

But the thing is, they haven’t actually… y’know...  _ looked _ at each other. Up close, or otherwise. 

Or touched each other really at all. Like, with their hands. 

Everything they’ve already done is already pretty questionable but putting that aside, that’s an undeniable act of gayness right there. Touching another guy’s dick. Even  _ looking  _ at it while it’s hard will turn his eyeballs irreversibly gay, he feels like.

But he knows they’re going to end up doing it. It feels so inevitable. Like he can't stop it no matter what he does. He can’t stop thinking about it. He knows they’re going to keep going. He doesn’t know if he’s ready. 

And as many times as he’s caught Kagami pitch a tent in his baggy basketball shorts at an inopportune time by now— as many times as they’ve showered together in the past, as many times as they’ve swum in the river and Kagami’s underwear are practically see-through, molded to him like wet paper— Aomine doesn’t actually know what his dick looks like hard. And he hasn’t touched it.

That’s probably his own fault. He knows Kagami would’ve jumped at the opportunity if he’d shown even the slightest sign that he would let him. It’s his own fault they haven’t done this before and it's his own fault that he's feeling overwhelmed now when he's put it off for so long.

The thing that he really can’t stop thinking about. The thing he really can’t stop wondering, is whether Kagami’s circumcised or not. He’s spent another night on his phone, looking up pictures of cut ones —  _ jeez they look freakish, all exposed like that when they're soft. _ He scrolls with his nose wrinkled and his legs crossed in phantom pain as he tries to compare them with what he remembers from Kagami. He’s seen Kagami naked before, but he just can’t remember. And that was forever ago, a completely different time. Now, it would feel totally different, to see him exposed.

_ To let Kagami see  _ _ him. _

  
  
  


“Hey I got this movie I think you’ll like.”

Aomine looks up, snapping out of his reverie. Kagami’s looking at him. He’s standing in the kitchen with his apron on and quirking a brow. “What is it?”

“Django. It’s on the TV stand, look at it if you want.”

Aomine lays his head back down. “I saw that before, Kagami.”

“You did?... Ah, I guess I’m not surprised. Isn't it good? You saw it?”

“Yeah, Sukiyaki Django Western or something, right? There was roses in it.” Kagami’s got his brows furrowed in confusion, but then shakes his head.

“Oh. No, no, not that one. The Tarantino one. Look at the box.” Groaning, Aomine gets up and grabs the case, frowning immediately when he sees english all over it. Oh, he remembers this one now. His mom forbade him when it came to theaters here, Satsuki had refused to sneak with him, and then he hadn’t bothered to go alone.

“Ah, Kagami, I don’t wanna’ read subtitles.”

“Learn english then.”

“Too hard.”

“Don’t be lazy.”

“Ugggggh—”

“Well, lucky for you, there’s a dub on that disc if you want. I think you’ll like this one.”

He does like it. It’s set in old America and there’s bounty hunters and gunfights and explosions and stuff. It’s fucked up for the first half hour or so— but then it starts getting fucking awesome. Aomine usually talks and eats dinner through the movie but his chicken sits uneaten as he gets drawn in.

Kagami stops chewing during the tense scenes so as to not interrupt the silence with his chipmunk cheeks. He’s unphased by the cheesy violence and the jumpscares, he must’ve seen it before, but he does close his eyes later at the part with the dogs.

The ending’s gratuitous and bloody and just so over the top. Got him pumped up. Django is so fucking cool, he’s such a badass. “Liked it?” Kagami says, grinning in the dark, the TV glowing on his face.

Aomine just reaches out and kisses him instead of replying, laughing lowly when Kagami yelps as he’s yanked in. “Sheesh… slow down,” Kagami sighs, but doesn't protest, humming when Aomine cuts him off with another kiss.

On the floor in the living room, the credits rolling and the mansion still smoldering as a cowboy whistles and sings, they sit facing each other, legs wrapped around each other as they kiss feverishly. He feels pent up, panting and sweating— Kagami’s head is tucked in next to his, sticky cheek against his neck. Aomine’s forehead is pressed into Kagami’s shoulder, his t-shirt going damp under it.

He can hear Kagami jerking it, can feel his body vibrating with the quick rhythm of his arm pumping. He’s masturbating too, hand inside his sweats, working himself fast. Kagami’s panting into his neck, gasping out and tickling the sensitive hairs around his ear, sending chills down his back in a rush.

Aomine cums in his underwear and lets his hand slow. It turns cold and wet in there quickly and he just rests there slouching, letting Kagami cling onto him and moan as he gets closer. Kagami stuffs a tissue down the front of his shorts and stops breathing, quiet for just a second before Aomine feels him tense all over as he orgasms, a long obscene moan escaping.

He collapses there and pants, and they both exhale a sigh of release. “Fuck,” he breathes. Aomine looks up with a snort and the credits are over. He’s feeling uncomfortably sweaty, clothes damp and sticky.

After they’ve both had baths, they lay under the air conditioning unit on the living room floor. He feels so relaxed, just being next to him like this, body loose and light with release. It’s quiet and peaceful, Kagami laying there contentedly with his head resting back on his arms— so obviously it’s time to annoy him a little.

Aomine reaches over and pokes him in the belly button. He has an innie, so he keeps his fingertip in there.

“Boop.”

Kagami snorts, making his stomach jump under Aomine’s finger.

“Do you need attention every second… Geez,” he mutters sleepily. “Can’t be helped then, c’mere.” He puts an arm out around Aomine’s shoulders, hugging him in and sniffing, settling his head again.

Aomine lays there next to him as Kagami dozes, snuggled in. He just looks at him, breathing slow, watching Kagami’s bangs flutter just slightly. His eyes are sweetly closed, lips parting as he starts to relax and drift off. So precious. So important to him. Sometimes he loves him so much that he just aches from thinking about it.

He can’t think how anyone could resist getting swept up into Kagami’s pace. It's beyond his comprehension how anyone could resist falling for him. How anyone could ever want to hurt him.

If he remembers. If he thinks back to last summer.

He can remember Kagami being hurt by someone else, again and again, and he’d just stood there and done nothing. Because he'd felt like he had to stay out of it. When he looks back on it, he kicks himself. He hates thinking of it. If he could go back in time knowing what he knows now, he doesn’t know what he would’ve done differently, how he could’ve helped Kagami. But he wishes he would’ve done more.

_ That night by the pool. He dreams about it sometimes. Kagami’s face lit bright aqua blue by the pool lights, wet rings under his eyes. Tired and sad. Aomine tries to tell him. Every time. Tries to tell him he loves him. Doesn’t want to see him hurt. He’s so special. He’s amazing. He didn’t deserve any of this. _

_ He tries every time but he can’t say the words quick enough. _

_ Sometimes Aomine can rip the hands away from Kagami’s throat and they run, run, run away together. Run away and hide and Aomine hugs him, hugs him, hugs him and never lets anything hurt him again. _

_ But sometimes he can’t get up. The dread that shoots through him as he’s trapped on the ground, neck twisted, legs laying limp, unable to so much as twitch a finger, helplessly watching Kagami’s face contort, tear-streaked and screaming out. _

_ He can’t get to him. He’s ripped back into the pool and he plunges down into the silent void. Alone.  
  
_

Aomine lays his head on Kagami’s, resting his lips on his forehead, smooth with sleep. He puts his arm around him and rubs his back slowly. He closes his eyes.

He doesn’t think back to last summer often anymore. He doesn’t think back to how Hitoshi hurt Kagami, because when he does, he feels so angry about it he wants to cry. He wants to rip into that piece of shit all over again. He hates him so much for hurting Kagami that he can’t stand it.

And he hates himself. He wishes he could go back and change it. If he’d confessed to Kagami at the fireworks. If he’d confessed to him that afternoon in the park, holding a cicada between them. If he’d told the truth from the beginning on the basketball court that Kagami’s the one his heart beats for, maybe it would’ve been different. It never would’ve had to come to that. He wouldn’t have been so obvious trying to kiss Kagami that night, making him look like a cheater. Kagami wouldn’t have been beaten up by his scorned boyfriend.

_ If he could go back and do it again, he would've punched Hitoshi harder. He would tear him apart. He would hurt him for hurting Kagami. _

_ How could you do it. How could you ever hurt him.  
  
_

Kagami makes a noise in his sleep, a little snort and jerk, body twitching and then relaxing again. Aomine opens his eyes.

They haven’t heard from Hitoshi since everything happened. 

He knows that in the beginning the guy was talking shit about Kagami, starting rumors about him being cheap and whatnot, but nothing after that. He knows that Hitoshi told people that he was the one who dumped Kagami and not the other way around. Shit about him being easy because he went running to Aomine— who’d been in a fight with him over being gay earlier that summer.

Aomine can admit that yeah, they did get together really quickly after those two had split up. So to an outsider, it would seem like Kagami was hopping guys. Especially since Hitoshi conveniently leaves out how he accused Kagami of cheating, beat him up, and humiliated him in front of others…

Kagami’s never brought up the gossip. He's never talked to Aomine about it, bearing it silently, and Aomine had bit his tongue.

He bites his tongue and tries not to think about that guy. If Kagami’s moving past it, then he doesn’t have any right to dwell on Kagami’s ex. He’s not going to be the one to bring up painful memories.

_ And he definitely keeps it to himself when he wonders—  _

_ Sometimes he just wonders if Kagami compares them. Even in passing. Is every moment he spends with Kagami a silent competition with the one who came before and burned a scar into Kagami’s heart.  _

_ Is it a competition, and if it is, who’s winning. _

It should be easy to beat a person like Hitoshi. Someone who made Kagami feel bad about himself, blamed him, hit him, humiliated him, lied about him. Someone who never believed in Kagami’s dreams and thought they were a nuisance. Someone who only wanted Kagami as an object of self-validation.

Aomine came first. Kagami loved him first and loved him longest. Aomine doesn’t always treat him the best, he’s not the most mature or suave guy out there, but he’s devoted to Kagami. He cares about him and he’d never knowingly hurt him again. Not on purpose. It would make sense that he’s the only thing in Kagami’s heart. It should be an easy win. 

_ But Kagami’s not a trophy. This isn’t a competition and Kagami’s not a prize. And Aomine shouldn’t be thinking like this. It’s not about him. Kagami was the one who got hurt by that guy and Aomine doesn’t have any right to be thinking like this. Maybe it’s jealousy again. He can never share these thoughts or open up about those insecurities because it's not fair to burden Kagami with it. He can't show him this horrible side to himself or tell him he dwells on these things. It would only hurt him. _

_ But he can’t help but think sometimes… Hitoshi had at least been wholeheartedly gay. He’d been naturally attracted to Kagami. He’d had passion for Kagami. Maybe even too much. He said he and Kagami never fucked, but Aomine knows they did things. Of course they did. Hitoshi did it with Kagami, and here’s Aomine, for all his love and care for Kagami, still trying to balance on the fencepost. Trying fruitlessly to juggle Kagami and his pride. One feels like a bowling ball, the other… a basketball, maybe. _

Maybe it’s jealousy, some stupid caveman jungle-brain. It’s messed up. But he can’t help it. It drives him crazy to think that there’s a part of Kagami that he’s not a part of. A part that Hitoshi had gotten to see. A one-up he’ll always have over Aomine.

Maybe he’s afraid to go that far and find out that in this one area, he doesn’t measure up. He’s not as good. Those intimate memories Kagami must have locked away, Aomine won’t be able to paint over those. One last parting gift that smug piece of shit left behind, nothing Aomine can do about it.

_ When they finally do it, if Aomine can ever bear to go that far with Kagami— then who’ll be winning? _

  
They’ve gotten off together before. It’s not as if Aomine’s made no progress. But he’s never touched Kagami’s cock. And Kagami hasn't touched him either. Not really.

His last shred of denial. Hanging on by a tiny thread. About to snap.

_ Can’t be gay. Not gay. I know it.  _

_ But I can’t let him win. If he can do it, then I— _

_ Kagami’s not a trophy. There’s nothing to win. _

_ Fuck, if I wasn’t too scared. In a world with no consequences— I wouldn’t be this pathetic.  _

  
  
All these thoughts have been ruminating and swelling and festering for days on end. He can’t seem to stop. It only gets worse if he tries to ignore it. He feels disgusting and confused. But he’s been pushed to the edge.

They’re playing basketball and the gym is echoing with the sound of their shoes scuffing the maple floor, but in Aomine’s head, it’s silent but for the crackle of electricity and the rush of blood in his ears. Match after match, he dances circles around Kagami, but he’s vicious and driven as ever, going at it each time like he has a chance, like he knows he can win. Completely honed in on the ball.

Aomine can’t take his eyes off him. He thinks he’s starting to understand.  
  


_ You’re my boyfriend. Of course— I’m focused on you—   
_

The sight of Kagami’s sweaty shirt collar, dark and sticking between his pecs. His pits are soaked. His face is shining under the overhead lights. Aomine might be starting to get it, just the beginnings of that feeling.

“One more time.”

“A hundred more times and it won’t be any different,” Aomine hums, smirking, as if he’s not panting as hard as Kagami. His muscles are warm, worked to their limit. 

Is this what it feels like. He’s been waiting to feel what he’s  _ supposed to feel _ and when it had finally come, it wasn’t what he’d expected. He doesn’t know what’s coming or how to anticipate it. It’s always terrified him, but now it’s starting to feel exciting. Waiting for the tidal wave sucking the ocean back to finally strike. He has the chance to run to safety before it hits. 

Or he can look back at what’s looming overhead.

“One more.”

Aomine’s grin stretches, lowering himself, dribbling the ball tight to his body. Kagami comes at him like it’s the first time, with the same energy, unbowed by the continued losses. “... Well, I guess it can’t be helped.” Kagami grins, sweat leaking down his chin and onto his neck. 

He’s breathing hard, chest glistening as it puffs in and out. No boobs, but there’s some cleavage there, kind of. In the right light. A drop of sweat rolls down his nose. Aomine’s eyes shoot to it as it sparkles and then falls. 

Is he starting to feel it. Is that what this feeling is.   
  


“One more then, Taiga.”  
  


_ One more. A hundred more times with you.  _

  
  
  
  
Kagami’s naked back in the shower. Arms lifted to soap his hair, flexing his back, shifting his weight to the other leg. Saliva floods Aomine’s mouth.

Like he’s about to vomit. Or devour some food.

_ He can’t tell which. Feels like both sometimes. _

  
  
  
  


“Let’s get some groceries on the way,” Kagami exhales as they head back from the gym. Aomine hums, walking at his side, letting his arm brush Kagami’s because he's feeling a little flirty. As daring in public as he's willing to be. Feels like usual.

Aomine keeps waiting. Waiting for this thing on the periphery to stop teasing and just hit him already. Is it even there. Did it go away? Is it going to keep building. Can it show it’s face already so he can recognize it—  _ is it what he thinks it is. _

“Requests?”

“Whatever you make is fine,” Aomine mutters, ruffling Kagami’s hair when his ears color. His stomach gives a loud growl and Aomine busts out laughing. “Ohh, big one. Let’s hurry, Tabetai-ga.”

“Fuck. Shut it.”

He waits through the corner store, carrying an extra basket for Kagami when meat is on sale. He waits as Kagami cooks and he mindlessly looks through his magazines for the hundredth time. He waits as he’s eating dinner, chewing thoughtfully and looking at Kagami’s face, cheeks stuffed full and stretched out. 

“Ahhh,” Aomine sighs, pushing back from his plate. “Thanks for the meal—”

“What’s that look on your face,” Kagami mumbles when Aomine just lounges there, watching him eat, waiting for him to finish.

Aomine smirks teasingly. “I was just thinking you look so cute right now. Like a chipmunk.” 

Kagami gulps down his huge mouthful hard, throat making a noise. His ears are glowing again, goading him on. Shy and pleased with the praise, he looks so cute and embarrassed. Irresistible. A bone waved in front of a dog’s nose, teasing and torturing him.  _ Come get me— come chase me, I’m right here—  _

Aomine’s been waiting all this time for something to hit him. Some realization. Some wave of lust, or- or  _ something _ to show him without a doubt, that it’s really true. Where’s his proof that he’s starting to feel it— Where’s his answer, who can tell him what this thing is. The second he feels it, the second he knows for sure—  _ I’ll definitely do it. _

“Shut up,” Kagami muffles, glaring. “I was hungry.”

  
  


_ Maybe that’s what I feel.  
  
_

_ I feel hungry. _

  
  


Kagami finishes up and pushes back from the kotatsu, gathering the plates. “Come dry the dishes,” he mutters, and as he turns, the back of his neck is pink.

Aomine stands there in silence, obediently wiping each plate as Kagami hands it to him. The atmosphere is quiet and tense, charged with energy. Kagami’s fingers fumble every time they brush together as he passes him some dinnerware. When they’re done, he fiddles with the sponge and the soap, lining them back up next to the faucet.

Slowly, he glances up at Aomine and then takes his apron off, untying it carefully and setting it on the counter. Then he backs out of the kitchen and heads to the sofa, Aomine following just behind him.

He looks up at Aomine standing over him. His eyes are shy and uncertain, damp palms sticking to his sweats where they clasp his thighs. Broad shoulders, wide neck, square jaw, bushy eyebrows. No boobs. No dainty hands. No high voice. Kagami’s not the same as them so why has he been waiting for it to feel the same— 

Except.

_ Kagami sitting there so patiently. Cheeks flushed. Lips looking so pink and delicious. Kissable. The sight of it is stirring his blood. He thinks he understands. The waiting is over. The thing he feels—  _

Kagami stutters out awkwardly, “Fuck… Uh… You wanna’-”

He doesn’t get to say anything else.

The thing he’s been waiting to feel. Hoping for, dreading, anticipating. The push he needed. He thinks he finally feels it, and the second he does, he goes for it. Aomine drops onto the couch and kisses Kagami. Kagami reaches for him with a pleased moan, and they just _climb_ each other. He just needed a push. He just needed to know it was there.

_ Attraction. _

Kagami hasn’t tried to push things forward before, patient with Aomine’s slow pace, and when Aomine finally sparks and fizzles, reciprocates the tiniest bit, Kagami’s so cautious, so hesitant and gentle. As if he can’t believe Aomine is letting him have this— Today he matches his fervor. It’s like he feels the urgency. Hurries with him. There’s not much time left and Aomine kissing him with all he has. He’s going to go farther than he ever has—

“Fuck,” Kagami gasps as they break apart, saliva connecting their wet mouths. “You’re really into it today,” he breathes, surprised and confused as Aomine surges back in to kiss him, sucking on his tongue. “Hmmm,” he sighs out, his restraint falling away with each kiss.

Kagami’s holding him so tight, arms around him squeezing so passionately. He grips him by the hair, and Aomine almost makes a noise as Kagami pulls him away from their kiss by the roots, releasing with a wet smack. He’s startled by the shock that jolts through his body as Kagami pulls his head back and latches onto his neck with his mouth. 

Heart fluttering like a scared animal, Aomine holds perfectly still. Kagami’s breathing hard. He feels so strong. So big, pressing into him. Aomine feels defenseless for a second. It’s an unfamiliar sensation, being manhandled.

Kagami sucks on his neck a little, wet, soft tongue swirling, and kisses his way up to his ear, holding Aomine still. A shaky breath escapes him as Kagami sucks the rim of his ear into his mouth, gently nibbling it and sending shivers down his back.  _ God, that feels—  _

Their dicks are touching. Kagami’s hard and straining against him. “Is this okay?” Kagami breathes.

“Yeah,” he pants. Kagami’s looking at him. Starving. 

“Keep going.”

That seems to snap Kagami’s patience at long last. He moans aloud, desperate and frustrated, and meets him hard when he kisses him again. They’re grinding into each other, wrapped tightly together, legs interlocking as they sprawl across the couch. The friction feels amazing. He’s so turned on— Fuck, he can’t stop kissing him. 

Kagami sits up suddenly, taking him with him and jolting them apart. Both panting, Aomine stares at Kagami as he fumbles to take his shirt off. Aomine gulps.  _ Whoa… _

He pulls it over his head, revealing his bare torso, and as his arms come down, his hazy eyes meet Aomine’s. _Fuck, this is moving so fast. Aomine’s head’s in a whirl, Kagami’s taking off his clothes— aren’t they going so far._ _Kagami’s so bold..._ He breathes heavily, showing himself to him. He seems oddly exposed like that.

_ His nipples are rose petal pink. How did he never notice that. _

Aomine meets him in a fevered kiss. Kagami hugs him in, grabs him and hugs him, and it feels so natural, putting his arms around Kagami.  _ Wow—  _ Tentatively, he puts his palms on Kagami’s naked back, smooth and broad. He spreads his hands open wide and rubs them down it, mapping his spine. A huge span of skin. So warm... He feels so close to him right now.  _ Wow is right. _

Kagami’s hugging him too, feeling out his back over his shirt, his hands sliding down to his sides. First he thinks Kagami’s going to touch him too— feel his naked chest and slip under his shirt to take it off.

His hand rests on his hip, his fingertips playing underneath the hem of his shirt, touching his bare skin. It tickles a little, a light touch. It trails to the front tentatively playing with the ties of his sweats. Aomine’s mouth stalls on Kagami’s, slowing as they kiss. Kagami moves his hand down, slow, lots of time to run. Lots of time to tell him to stop. Waiting and asking silently,  _ are you going to let me? Can I please—  _

Aomine doesn’t do more than pause, trembling there.  _ Keep going. _

Kagami slowly moves his palm down and Aomine lets him. He’s touching his erection, cupping it in his hand. He takes the bulge in Aomine’s sweats in his hand and holds it. Doesn’t squeeze. Just rests there. Aomine doesn’t breathe. 

_ Kagami’s touching his dick—  _

Aomine gulps and lets out a shaky breath. This feels so intimate. No one else has ever touched him here. The most sensitive and defenseless part of him. He feels so vulnerable. Kagami’s lips are kissing his, feather light, a soft whisper, as he carefully starts to squeeze. Experimentally rolls and massages it with his hand. And it feels nice...

He pulls back from their kiss and meets Aomine’s eyes uncertainly, their foreheads together. 

Kagami’s probably looking for reassurance that doing this is okay and that he’s not going too fast— and Aomine’s probably not being very encouraging with his reaction. All pale and shaky. Kagami probably thinks he’ll faint if he asks him to touch his dick too, and Aomine’s not positive he’s wrong. 

He feels a little scared. His heart is pounding so hard. Another boy is touching his erection.

Kagami’s not doing much, gently rubbing it and feeling the shape, cupping it and curling his fingers around the outline.

“Do you...” Aomine mutters out, voice failing him, and it takes everything he has. He feels so afraid. So unsure. It takes all his bravery to say  _ keep going.  _

_ I’m trusting you. I’ll give myself to you a hundred times— Show me what to do. _

“Do you know how to do it,” he gets out, voice cracking. He’s clinging onto Kagami’s biceps, heart beating in his throat. Kagami’s big body relaxes with a shuddery breath as the tension rushes out, his touch melting into something even more tender and slow.

He’s kissing Aomine’s cheek so sweetly, comforting and warm. He’s being so gentle. He’s not making fun of him for being scared. He’s not calling him a baby, he’s not laughing. He’s being so patient...

“Some,” Kagami breathes. Aomine holds onto him, throat tight with nerves.

He sighs, dropping his head onto Kagami’s shoulder. Kagami’s breath is loud and feverish against his face as he fondles him, playing with it through his pants. It’s good… It feels really nice. Aomine feels so sensitive, Kagami’s big hand massaging it, starting to rub back and forth across the length of it, stroking along it real slow.

Aomine exhales a shaky breath after a few minutes when Kagami squeezes, a tiny, tiny noise slipping out, and that seems to put Kagami over the edge.

“You wanna’ touch me too?” he tentatively pants out. Aomine picks his head up, and Kagami’s sweaty face is quivering and desperate.  _ Starving. _

“You don’t have to,” he amends, breathless, then kisses him on the cheek, licks towards his ear, gently pushing his cock back and forth in his sweats, manipulating it through the thick fabric.

Aomine swallows, blood rushing in his ears. This rush of adrenaline and fear and pleasure is so confusing. His dick feels so good and his stomach is so tight with dread and uncertainty. He knows Kagami will stop if he wants to, he can trust Kagami. He’s determined. He’s made his mind up, but he feels so afraid.

His hand is shaking as he puts it out and tries, eyes shut. Feeling blindly, his fingers jump when his hand meets Kagami’s belly, erection jutting up below. Curiosity starts to weigh against the scale, outbalancing the fear and nervousness, as he slowly rests his hand on it, fingertips touching it. It jumps and twitches, as if excited to finally meet him. Kagami breathes out slow, as if to keep his cool. His face is against his. 

Even through the thick material of his sweats, he can feel the shape of what his erection feels like. The shape of Kagami’s cock, stiff and warm. It’s almost like holding his own dick. It feels like his own dick feels in his hand, but a one way sensation. Like letting your leg fall asleep and then feeling it with your hand. 

He keeps his hand there for a second, then fits his fingers around the outline, closing his grip on it and tightening it. A shaky moan escapes Kagami the second he does, floating out and shooting straight down Aomine’s ear. It hits him like an electric shock, making him jump and gasp, surprised.

Kagami hugs him, sweaty and gasping, his hand stroking and fondling him with renewed enthusiasm. Aomine presses his mouth and nose into Kagami’s shoulder, his eyes staring unseeing down Kagami’s back, his focus honed in on what he’s touching, what he can feel. Kagami’s erection in his hand. He’s holding the most private, intimate part of Kagami’s body. He’s feeling another guy’s dick— so weird. He blinks dazedly as Kagami’s hand moves to the top of his sweats, pausing there, fiddling at the waistband. 

Kagami’s so hard, cock straining, the crotch of his pants stretched tight. Kagami’s hard from doing this to him.

He plays with the tie of his sweats again, plucking at them, and Aomine stills. Kagami stops.

“We can stop,” he gets out, voice thick and unsteady. Determination and stubbornness rushes in with the fear, flooding it. Drowning it. Mixing and swelling and boiling and bubbling— 

Aomine squeezes down and Kagami gasps out. 

_ I won’t be back.  
_

Kagami’s face looks so flushed and helpless, he’s dangling on the end of Aomine’s pinkie. Aomine can’t help but smile at him, so cute and sweet, an uncertain twist to his mouth. It’s hard to sound smooth. It’s hard to flirt. He meets Kagami’s gaze hesitantly.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” he says, low and nervous.  _ Keep going.  _

Kagami thinks that’s funny, his laugh dancing through him like a fairy light.

Eyes warm and crinkling, Kagami smiles and flirts back, breathy and surprised and pleased, so cute— “So, uh… You wanna’ go first? Or me—?” Aomine grabs his face and pulls him into a kiss. Kisses him till he’s out of breath.

Fuck. Aren’t you the best.  _ Aren’t you the best— Kagami?  _

Kagami makes a little noise, exhaling into his mouth when he feels Aomine start feeling around blindly, fumbling slowly down his belly until he can stick his fingers into his sweats, just under the waistband. He can feel hairs on his fingers. He can feel the elastic of Kagami’s underwear, and a hot damp erection straining through the stretched fabric. 

Fuck.

He stops, curling his hand into a fist, overwhelmed with hesitation. No, no, wait a second. Just take your time and try again. One, two…  _ three… _ Fuck. This is hard.

But he’s so close, closer than he’s ever come, and he knows if he doesn’t do it this time, he’ll just do it the next time. He’ll just lay in bed looking at pictures of dicks and he’ll measure his own dick and he’ll masturbate and he’ll worry— and he'll crack and give in.

Kagami’s lips are slowing on his, breath coming through heavily as he waits and trembles. Aomine decides that… maybe he might not want to look at it yet after all, so he breaks away and shoves his forehead onto Kagami’s neck, eyes pressed flat against his burning hot shoulder. Kagami huddles in against him, panting in his ear, gulping, swallowing air and gasping as he tries to slow his breathing.

Apprehension mounting, he puts his hand into Kagami’s underwear, and suddenly remembers. That’s right. He’s been wondering. He’s been anticipating this ever since they first jerked off together because he knew this was the next logical step and he hasn’t been able to stop wondering— 

Is Kagami... intact?

He sticks his fingers down into Kagami’s underwear and immediately feels his dick snap up into his hand, smacking into his palm, damp and hot and hard.  _ Hi, Daiki—!  _

He stays there for a minute, frozen, and then slowly puts his hand around it.

He doesn’t look, he just feels around. Kagami exhales shakily, slow and controlled. Aomine’s thinking a hundred miles an hour, heart pounding, trying to create a mental picture. Kagami’s dick feels like his own does. He’s hard and solid in his hand, but if he squeezed, the flesh has some give. The shaft of it is pulsating and hot, and he can feel a vein standing out under his fingertips, pulsating and fluttering under the delicate skin.

Aomine’s brow furrows as he feels down to the head, wrapping his hand around it loosely. It’s so hot and damp, smearing a patch of slimy moisture against his palm.

It feels… 

_ Huh. _

Kagami sits there obediently and lets him do what he wants. He swallows hard, his dick twitching minutely against Aomine’s hand. His lips part, a soft  _ “Ohh,”  _ coming out, a sweet little moan. “Oh…” A shaky breath escapes as he bites his lips.

Aomine retracts his hand, separating from him a little. Kagami looks up into his face questioningly, breathtaken and panting. His cheeks are so rosy, like two peaches. He blinks a little, so dazed, his lips wet and shiny. Aomine looks into his eyes and then swallows. Then scrunches his brow again and hooks a fingertip in the front of Kagami’s sweats and pulls them out an inch. He leans forward to peer in, looking down between them.

Kagami sits back on his hands and peers down too, then up to Aomine’s face. Aomine just keeps peeking at it, frowning. Kagami lets him, but he’s starting to look a little shy. 

There’s dark patch of hair on Kagami’s abdomen, and there it is nestled underneath, still trapped in the tight pocket of his boxer briefs. The ones with the stars. Kinda dark in there when they’re leaned together so close. It takes Aomine a minute of looking to make out much.

Well… It certainly looks different when it’s hard. But not scary. Not like an alien. 

And then there’s the obvious.

“......”

Growing self conscious under the scrutiny, Kagami finally squirms and mumbles uncomfortably. “...  _ Well?”  _

Aomine just keeps staring, quirking a brow at it. He can’t seem to stop looking at it. He doesn’t know if he’s surprised or not, or what he’s feeling, really. He doesn’t even know what he expected.

“...... Huh.”

“What—  _ What,” _ Kagami sulks, discouraged.

“I thought they might’ve cut your dick,” he hears himself say, twisting his head to the side and looking at it some more. When he finally looks up, Kagami’s staring at him with this funny expression. 

“Dude,” he says, “I was born here. Why would it be cut?”

Somehow, it’s a relief. It looks kind of like his. Just a different color.

Aomine snorts, the tension popping so suddenly that his shoulders sag with it. Kagami’s smiling again, bashful and sweetly shy as Aomine takes another peek. He wonders suddenly if maybe Kagami’s nervous too.

“Well, I dunno'! Your parents seemed fine with other body mods!” he teases.

“Braces are not body mods!... Well… okay, maybe they are technically.” Aomine snorts again, snickering. “But that’s completely different!” Grinning, eyes twinkling, Aomine leans in and kisses Kagami and he deflates, sinking into him, adjusting himself on the couch so he can reach over and fondle Aomine a little more.

“Now you,” Kagami breathes, smiling, bright-eyed, and tentatively matching his flirting. “Show me what you got.”

Aomine doesn’t know how it came to this. Suddenly they’re going to take their clothes off for each other, it feels so fast, but he doesn’t know how to back out or if he even wants to. He just knows that he’s embarrassed to take his clothes off in front of Kagami and let him see him naked. Fuck, he’s so nervous...

He drops his eyes. Kagami’s hand is rubbing on his thigh, his hair is brushing Aomine’s face, so close. Aomine doesn’t look at him, taking a brave gulp and scooting his pants down. Just an inch. Just enough to take out his cock. He’s feeling anxious again, heart in his throat, hands fumbling.

This shouldn't be so bad. They’ve seen each other butt naked before, Kagami must have seen him completely nude quite a few times. Even after they’ve gotten together. He knows that and he tells himself that, tells himself this isn’t a big deal, look, Kagami even went first, but he still feels a sharp rush of humiliation when he exposes himself, keeping his hand around it to keep it covered up.

He can feel Kagami looking at him. He feels so ashamed—

Kagami exhales, thumb rubbing a circle on his thigh as his hand creeps towards Aomine’s, laying on top of it, but Aomine doesn’t move his hand-shield. This is surprisingly embarrassing. He feels so exposed and vulnerable...

Kagami doesn’t let him suffer alone long, picking his hips up so he can pull his pants and underwear down too, _far,_ _halfway down his thighs._ His cock springs out, smacking his belly once, leaving a wet spot there. Aomine’s eyes shoot straight to his dick, zeroing in. Fuck. Holy shit, there it is, it's out— 

Breathless, Kagami takes Aomine’s hand and brings it toward him, placing it on his stomach, just above the patch of trimmed hair surrounding the base. He lets go and Aomine keeps his hand there, feeling perversely fascinated looking at this weird,  _ weird _ thing. It looks different in the light. So similar to his own, recognizable, but feeling new and unexplored.

It’s the first time he’s seen Kagami’s dick hard. It’s standing up on its own, jutting up from between his legs, a vein set in sharp relief on the top of the shaft. Kagami’s skin is lighter, so Aomine can see a blue tint to that spot, the vein branching like rivulets of water on a map.

He’s got dark brown pubic hair around the top of it, a little of the fuzz trailing up his stomach farther than the rest. Not too far. Underneath he can see his balls resting in the shadow cast by his sweats, waistband drawn tight across his spread thighs. His balls are darker than the rest of his skin, the skin puckered a little, probably from the air conditioning.

Kagami’s uncircumsized like him. The head is poking mostly out of the foreskin, glistening and  _ pink. _

_ That’s… adorable. _

Feeling mesmerized, heart in his throat, pulse throbbing through his tongue and his teeth and his lips and in his  _ eyes,  _ Aomine reaches out and touches it. His trembling fingertips brush against it, accidentally nudge it as he fumbles to wrap his hand around it. 

The foreskin is moveable and stretched tight as he pumps Kagami once. A shaky breath escapes through Kagami’s lips as he leans his head back involuntarily, eyes fluttering shut for a second. “Fuck,” he breathes, so quietly. “Ohh,” he exhales.

Gaining some confidence, Aomine wraps his hand around it upside down like he does to himself, laying it against Kagami’s stomach and giving it a few pulls to the side. Nice and slow with even pressure, revealing and covering the head, flared and rosy pink. The color of Kagami’s lips.

Kagami moans quietly, a little encouragement to keep him going. Side by side, Kagami’s ankle is underneath his, his leg worming underneath Aomine’s as he scoots in closer. His hand comes out to rub Aomine’s thigh, tentatively moving towards his groin and resting on top of Aomine’s protective hand again. 

Kissing him clumsily, nibbling on Aomine’s lips, Kagami slowly rubs the back of his hand until Aomine loosens his grip and lets him underneath it, lets him feel. Kagami holds it, gripping his dick and Aomine exhales sharply into Kagami’s mouth. He’s so vulnerable and sensitive… Fuck, that feels... They break apart and both look down. Their arms are a zig zag mirror, reaching across each other to feel. His head feels so stuffy and hazy, a fluttery whirl as Kagami looks. He can’t get more than a peek with their faces so close, surely…

“Nice,” Kagami breathes appreciatively, and Aomine’s face flushes violently, throat closing. He couldn't talk right now if he wanted to.

Kagami starts moving his hand, a practiced fist working him back and forth, slow and steady, and it feels amazing… Fuck. Aomine shuts his eyes and drops his head against Kagami’s shoulder and lets Kagami jerk him.

His boyfriend is jerking him off. Kagami’s grip seems so confident. Eager. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” he breathes, and Aomine grits his teeth.

They’re really taking this all the way then, aren’t they, they’re not just fucking around, because Kagami’s not stopping. He’s insistent, the right amount of pressure in his grip, the right pace, and the adrenaline of all of it is getting him there quick.

Kagami doesn’t slow down when Aomine starts to breathe heavier. Fuck, it feels so good, and sure, he might know all his own sensitive spots, but someone else doing it almost makes it feel  _ better. _ He can’t predict how Kagami’s going to move. He can’t tell what he’ll do. He’s at his mercy—

Right now, he can’t think why he was scared. He can’t even comprehend wanting to stop. He’s getting there so fast, faster than he might’ve wanted to if he could think anything at all— He can’t even think to be embarrassed that Kagami has a full view of what he’s doing now, he can see Aomine’s exposed dick, he can hear the wet schlick of his fist working over it, fuck, he’d die of embarrassment if this weren’t rendering the rest of his body useless—

Aomine gets right up to the edge and stops breathing, brain stuttering to a halt as the pleasure peaks, and Kagami makes him cum, stroking him through it as his body tenses and jolts.

_ Fireworks. It feels like fireworks—  _

  
  


_ “Fuck… Oh my god, fuck...” _ he hears Kagami breathe, but he doesn’t move. He feels like someone cut his strings. His body’s so loose and floppy that he just lays there against Kagami for who knows how long, panting for breath, head reeling, shuddering and shaking. When the glow starts to cool after a couple minutes, his dick starting to soften up, humiliation immediately overwhelms him and he quickly pulls his pants up, staining them with the cum splattered on his belly.

Aomine looks away, stomach knotted up tight. He feels guilty and gross and weird… and  _ really  _ embarrassed... This is so awkward. Kagami’s hand has dropped onto his leg. Aomine can hear him swallow, and at last makes himself look up.

Kagami's pupils are blown wide, he’s flushed and sweaty and turned on, looking ready to burst right there. Lips wet and bitten red, trembling there and waiting, straining like a dog at the end of his line, everything in his face is just  _ begging for him—  _ “Fuck, Daiki,” he breathes. “That was…”

Aomine gulps down his nerves and swoops in to kiss him.  _ That was amazing— thank you— fuck, that was great—  _ Kagami moans out into his mouth, the sound vibrating through his face, standing the hair up all over Aomine’s head, tingles shooting down his back. He palms himself through his pants, sensitive aftershocks rocketing through him.

It takes him a second to process what’s happening, and then feels light-headed for a second when Kagami starts jerking himself off, right out in the open—

For all Kagami’s social blunders and reservations when it came to nude public bathing, he sure seems to mind a lot less than Aomine does about exposing himself in a passionate moment. Maybe because he has more practice whereas Aomine is new to all of it. Or maybe that’s just what makes them different. He was partly raised American and Aomine’s all Japanese, and lewd as he is with his porn books, he feels modest about being that vulnerable with someone, unpracticed and unsure.

Kagami’s very  _ un-selfconscious, _ isn’t he. Fuck, he just moans out so openly. He’s not restraining them at all, he just lets them out as they come like he doesn’t care if Aomine hears, like he doesn’t even realize how loud and free he’s being. He’s humming and sighing and gasping into Aomine’s shoulder and neck, body curled towards him. He’ll look Aomine right in the eye while he’s touching himself, and Aomine feels the blood rush up into his face in a huge swoop. “Da— Daiki,” he moans out, jerking himself off, quick and hard.

Aomine thinks the vessels in his eyeballs are going to burst. He can feel pressure building in his septum and prays that his nose won’t start to bleed, he’ll never live it down— Fuck, so lewd. How is he that confident. Aomine can’t even imagine doing something so bold and embarrassing. He’s embarrassed just  _ watching _ him do it. He’s embarrassed just listening to him...

The wet sound of Kagami jerking off, Kagami moaning into Aomine’s mouth, it’s like porn. God, it’s like porn. His lips are so slick with saliva, kissing Aomine’s sloppily when he can focus enough.

His rhythm stutters and he grunts and groans, holds his breath for a second and then moans out his climax. Aomine stares round-eyed at Kagami’s contorted flushed face, watching him cum, splattering his bare chest and stomach, muscles contracting and relaxing repeatedly each time the shock of his orgasm strikes. His body relaxes all at once, breath seeping out with a soft continuous moan. “Oh... Daiki,” he sighs, sagging back.

Letting go of his dick, it flops over onto his hip, still hard and leaky. Aomine stares at it, swallowing hard. He looks back at Kagami’s satisfied face, feeling like he’s been struck by lightning.

“Wow,” Kagami breathes. Aomine looks into his eyes, and in that moment, he could fall straight into him and never come up for air.

“Fuck… That was awesome… We… We should do that more often,” he pants with a goofy smile.

It fades when he looks up at Aomine, who finds himself showing his teeth back, smiling despite himself. “Yeah,” he agrees.

Kagami seems blissed out. Blown away. Gazing at him with a quirk to his lip. Aomine looks down for a second, swallowing, then flicks his eyes back up to his. He thought it would be awkward afterward and that he wouldn’t know what to say, but Kagami looks so relaxed, so content to be laid out next to him, not a single worry on his mind. His eyes are so soft and warm.

Kagami leans in and gives him a slow, sweet kiss. Aomine closes his eyes and exhales, and the guilt and the worried knots in his stomach go away and everything… everything seems…  _ right.  _ Them together, close as can be…

Their lips part and Kagami’s eyelashes tickle his as they flick up.  _ Fuck, he’s gorgeous... God, I love him so fucking much...  
_

“... You wanna’ play basketball some more?” Kagami murmurs softly, and Aomine blinks.

It takes him a minute to get his throat working again.  _ “What?”  _ he gets out, voice deep and raspy. He was just thinking that now would be the perfect time to snuggle and take a nap together. He feels wrung out, lighter than a cloud. How can Kagami be fired up for more exercise? Where’s that energy coming from. Hasn’t he heard of a refraction period…?

“The sun’s going down, idiot. And we already played all afternoon, isn’t that enough for you?”

“Well now I wanna' play again!” He leans in and kisses Aomine. “C’mon, please?...” Aomine smiles into his lips. 

“We can take showers first," Kagami coaxes.

“Well good, ‘cause it’s gettin' really cold and slimy down there.”

“And I’ll make a late night snack when we’re back. Seriously,  _ please,  _ just one game.”

“We’re not gonna’ drag our asses all the way out there for one game, you moron. And quit talking, it’s weird looking at you when you have…  _ that  _ all over you. Put your shirt on.”

“Oh...” Kagami looks around for some tissues, wiping himself ineffectually.

“You really wanna’ play, huh.” Aomine pecks him once more and then leans back on the couch with a sigh, spreading his arms out, legs apart. He suddenly understands what people mean by feeling satisfaction after sex. He's always sleepy after jerking himself off, but right now his body feels good all over, so relaxed, and he's content just to lie here. But Kagami's insistent that he get up.

“Well, okay, I guess I have no choice,” he hums, and Kagami fistpumps.

_ “Yes! _ Yosh-SHA!” Aomine just snickers and shakes his head.   


_ Aren’t you something, _ he thinks.

_ Wow is right.  _

  
  
  
Later, when he takes the train home and Kagami’s not there to keep a smile on his face, when Kagami’s not there to keep his heart  _ up, up, up—  _ when he’s finally alone in his room, he feels guilty. He has second thoughts.

He feels a little afraid for people to know what they’ve done. He feels worried that people will just look at him and  _ know. _ He feels so different. It feels like people should be able to see it when they look at him. They can’t tell, can they? He hopes they can’t. He hopes they don’t look at him and see  _ I got jerked off by my boyfriend  _ written all over his face. What if his parents find out because he starts acting weird...

He and Kagami are the same together as they always are, but Aomine  _ feels _ different. 

When he looks at Kagami, when they talk… When they play basketball, Aomine feels different. He sees Kagami different. When he hears him laugh, he can hear in it that same voice that he’d heard moaning and catching. When he watches him move and sees his shirt come up, he can see the same sweaty heaving stomach, wet and shiny. 

When he looks at his face. Same old loveable face… Same stupid jokes.

“Let’s do some threefrows—” Kagami says after they’ve played match after match, slowing down for a breather. Kagami pauses, shaking himself. “Wait. Freethrows.  _ Fuck.” _

Aomine snorts. “Ha-haaa,” he teases.

“Ugh, I always do that,” Kagami groans.

“It’s free-throw, Kagami.  _ Three-fr—”  _ Aomine blinks. “Shit.  _ Free. Throw.” _

Kagami busts out laughing. “PFF-HA! You— oh my god, hahaha—” Aomine rolls his eyes, trying to hide a smile. 

_ “Suri-furo!” _ he mocks in a faux deep voice, teasing in english.  _ “You can’t say free-throw either.” _

“Hey, shut up!” Aomine snaps. “Don’t say stuff I can’t understand!”

“Haaaaa,” Kagami sighs out, grinning. Aomine grumbles a little. He never likes it when the tables get turned. He much prefers it when he’s the one teasing Kagami. But if Kagami’s going to laugh like that, then maybe he won’t complain too much. 

“Hm, what time is it. I’m getting kinda’ hungry.”

“Of course you are.” He says it, but he’s hungry too. He can’t wait for some of Kagami’s cooking. Maybe he can wheedle him into making teriyaki.

“I want some teriyaki, Kagami…. Did you already decide what you’re making? I want teriyaki,” he hums.

“...Maybe if there’s a sale,” Kagami mumbles absently, looking at the sky and squinting. 

Aomine sits back and stretches out his arms and legs, watching Kagami, who walks to the edge of the court and then puts his foot up onto the wire fence caging the pavement. Shoving his toe into one of the holes in the wire, he tests his weight once or twice and then heaves himself up, climbing up it so he can look over the treeline.

“What are you doing, dumbfuck?”

“I’m trying to see the sun so I can tell how late it is!” Kagami shouts, squinting at the horizon.

“Why don’t you look at your phone?”

“I forgot to charge it! Can you shut up for a second, I’m trying to focus!”

“You can’t talk and hold onto a fence at the same time?”

“Shut up!”

“Fine, fine. What’s the sun telling you.”

“Uhhh… It looks like… maybe… Five-thirty? No, maybe it’s seven… I think sunset is gonna’ start soon.”  
  
“What are you, a sundial?!” 

“Well when we got here, it was higher up, right?! It went all the way down that way.” The fence is squeaking and creaking as Kagami subtly moves to hold himself up.

He looks pretty up there. The sun’s glow is just starting to go orange as the dusk creeps in. It’s on the tips of Kagami’s sweaty tufts of hair, and on the curve of his cheek. Fuck, Aomine really loves him right now.

Aomine nods and hums assessingly, then sidles a little closer. “Y’know… You’re kinda sticking your butt out right now.”

“What?!” Kagami blurts, swiftly recovering. “Hey! Get away, I’m trying to balance!”

“Is that why you keep shaking it? C’mere.” Aomine grins, holding out his hands and making grabby motions. He slowly gets closer as Kagami glares at him and makes like he’s going to try to kick him to keep him back.

“Hey, stop squirming, I’ll hold you up, babe.” Kagami’s shoulders shoot up and his ears immediately turn bright red, which makes Aomine start to feel a little embarrassed too. He’s an idiot to think he could subtly just throw a pet name out there without Kagami reacting. Well… at least he seems to like it.

“Sit on these.” Aomine holds his palms out. He doesn’t even know where this stupid bold streak is coming from. Maybe it’s the look on Kagami’s face. Maybe it’s the same old Kagami, pulling him in with everything he does. Maybe it’s the same energy that’s made him do every stupid crazy thing since he first met him...

“I swear to fuck, Aomine—” 

Kagami twists to look back at him and glare, probably winding up to scold him some more, but as he does, the bars creak and suddenly, the bolts come loose and the fence mesh separates from the bar, and once it does, it crumples like aluminum foil.

Kagami yelps and jumps down to the ground before he can be pitched there on his ass. Then he stands up slowly, looking at the gaping hole in the fence in mute surprise.

He sheepishly turns and gives Aomine a silent look.

Aomine can’t stand it anymore and busts out laughing. “FATASS!” he hoots. “HAH!” Kagami scowls, pouting his lips out and looking at the fence hole with pink cheeks.

Grinning and snickering, Aomine tries to get at him, “Hey c’mere, I won’t let you down like that. I’m like a Pringles can, my spine is uncrushable.”

_ “Pringles,” _ Kagami mumbles.

“Pringles~ I’m uncrushable~”

Kagami narrows his eyes, giving him a long suspicious look. “........ Are you sure.”

“Try me.” Arms open, Aomine curls his fingers twice to beckon him. Kagami stares at him for another couple seconds and then seems to make his mind up, because he winds up and starts running at him like a freight train, then takes a running leap. Aomine’s eyes pop open as Kagami barrels into him.

He manages to catch him under the legs, but stumbles back into the fence, and they go down hard against it. “WAH!”

The ragged edges of the destroyed fence poke into the back of his head, the rest crunching beneath his back. Luckily, when they land, Kagami rolls to the ground, tumbling to the side, and doesn’t completely crush him. “OW!”

“Fucker!” Kagami yells from somewhere on his left. “Why didn’t you catch me?!”

Aomine sits up, spitting some grass out of his mouth. Kagami’s standing up, assessing his injuries. “You weren’t supposed to go cannonball on me, you fucking jerk!” Kagami starts to laugh as Aomine tries to get grass off his hair. 

“Hahahaaaa— Aomine, I stomp Pringles cans for breakfast.”

“I deserve a piggyback for this,” Aomine grumbles.

“Get on then, you weenie.” Kagami smirks, standing above him. Aomine glares up at him. “... Since your sissy arms can’t handle me.”

“I WASN’T READY.”

“You ready now?”

“Shut your fuck!”

Aomine gets up and grabs Kagami around the thighs, bracing his feet and taking a heavy breath, holding it in. He picks him up over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and his legs start to shake, his back creaking. He’s picked Kagami up before, but he’s heavy like this, all his weight on one shoulder.

Kagami laughs as he lifts him up. “Wooh!” he crows, sounding impressed. Aomine straightens up the rest of the way. Maybe he’s not so heavy after all.

“Whoa, okay, hey, don’t hurt your back, showoff.”

Aomine doesn’t listen, toting him out onto the court. “Aomine.” He hefts Kagami up a little more, tossing him further up over his shoulder. Kagami’s hip is right next to his ear. “Wah, I’m gonna’ fall!” Kagami yelps, hands scrambling at Aomine’s back. 

_ I’d never let you. _

Aomine grins. “Huh? No you’re not. I’ve got you.” He shakes Kagami a little looser to tease him.

“Wah! No!”

Aomine lets Kagami slip more and more over his shoulder until he’s gripping him by the thighs and Kagami’s hanging down near the back of his knees, legs flailing. “Aomi—  _ WAH!”  _ he yells suddenly, panicked,  _ “DAIKI, I’M NOT WEARING A BELT!”  _

His hand flies back to grab at the seat of his pants where it’s coming loose, because Aomine’s grip is hanging onto his cargo shorts, but not his legs, and Kagami’s about to fall straight out of them. His wild flail makes Aomine’s back pretty much give out right there, and they collapse in a heap on the hard concrete. They lay there stunned and staring up at the sky for a few minutes.

“Motherfucker.”

“You think Satsuki will carry us home if I call her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Tabetai is a way to say ‘I wanna eat.’ Kagami Taiga = tabetaiga.)


End file.
